


My Sister's Boyfriend

by ziall_love4eva (ZouiallismyOTP)



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band), One Direction (Band)
Genre: Depression, Multi, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-28
Updated: 2015-06-08
Packaged: 2018-03-20 00:29:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 24
Words: 25,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3629901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZouiallismyOTP/pseuds/ziall_love4eva
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Niall Horan is Waliyha Malik's boyfriend, but there is a problem; Zayn is overprotective and hiding something from both Waliyha and Niall. Zayn and Niall make a pact; to keep out of each others way until Zayn is ready to tell his secrets.<br/> There is another problem; Zayn finds out that Waliyha is using Niall. His reaction sends shocks through their families and friends, separating them for better and worse. Will they manage to restore the balance between them or is it lost forever?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY! I'm Catherine, Nae's friend, and she said that I could post my stories on her account for more reads. I really hope you all enjoy this book. <3

**NIALL**

I have to travel all the way to Bradford to see everyone today and I don't really mind. I am finally going to get to see my 'girlfriend' again and finally meet her family. Don't get me wrong, I love her, but we are just pretending to be together so she can get the boy she likes, jealous that is, and eventually hers.

Waliyha is a sweet sixteen year old girl, and her sisters are nice, but I am worried about meeting her parents and protective, older brother. She has told me about them and them about me, but I am still a bit afraid of meeting them even though she told me that they would love me to death.

The cab pulls up outside the Malik residence and I climb out of the cab. The driver gets my suitcase and, before I can get it off them, someone ploughs straight into me and I almost fall over. I look down and see Waliyha's brown head pressed against my chest.

"Hey, babe." I greet, hugging her.

"Hey, Ni." Waliyha replies.

"How's it going?"

"I'm fine."

"The  _other_  one?"

"Still nothing, but I'll get him soon."

"I know you will."

She giggles. "I know."

"Can I get my stuff yet, babe?"

"Yeah. Sorry."

Waliyha lets me go and I take my suitcase from the cab driver. I pay him the required amount and he drives away with a wave. Waliyha grabs my wrist and pulls me inside, closing the door behind us. She yells out that I am here and that she is going out soon.

"Waliyha!" Safaa yells. "Why are you going?"

"I need some alone time!" Waliyha replies.

"Waliyha!" a woman yells. "You are not going anywhere!"

The woman walks into the room and Waliyha sucks in her breath. Waliyha reluctantly nods and looks at me out the corner of her eye. I look down at her and put my arm around her waist. The woman clears her throat and I quickly look at her.

"I'm Trisha." the woman introduces. "Waliyha's mother."

"Niall." I reply. "Nice to meet you."

"So  _you're_ the famous Niall, eh?" a new voice asks.

"Yeah. Who are you?"

"Zayn. Waliyha's older brother."

"Mr Protective?"

"Good one, Blondie."

Zayn ruffles my hair and I playfully hit him on the shoulder. He tries to wrestle me to the ground and I mess up his hair. Waliyha gasps and Trisha tenses at my movements but Zayn just chuckles and playfully pushes me away, fixing his hair.

"That's your only chance, Blondie." Zayn chuckles. "Don't touch the hair."

"Don't touch mine then." I reply, fixing my hair.

"Fine."

He walks away and Waliyha stares at me with her jaw dropped. I raise my eyebrow and she signals that we'll talk later. I shrug and Trisha gives me a small smile before walking away. Waliyha takes my suitcase and leads me up to the spare room, the room across from Zayn's. Great.

"What was that about?" I ask.

"Zayn doesn't normally let people touch his hair." Waliyha explains. " _Normally_."

"So I'm an excuse?"

"It seems so, Ni."

"Safaa! Waliyha! Zayn! Niall! Doniya! Dinner!" Trisha calls.

"That was quick." Zayn mutters. "Cook slower, hey Mum?"

"I heard that!"

"Coming down!" Waliyha yells.

She barrels out of the room and almost knocks Zayn over. I grab his arm as he stumbles and he gives me a grateful smile. I smirk and Safaa barrels past us, almost knocking  _me_  over this time. We aren't so lucky this time, because I fall on top of him causing us to groan in pain.

"Safaa!" Zayn growls.

"Sorry, Zayney!" Safaa yells. "Sorry, Waliyha's boyfriend!"

"I'm fine, love." I tell her. "Don't worry."

She grins and runs down the stairs.

"Oh my!" a girl gasps. "What are you up to, Zayn?"

"Hey, Don." Zayn says. "Wanna help?"

"I'd rather not."

"Fine."

Doniya smirks and walks down the stairs, high fiving Waliyha and Safaa. Trisha just rolls her eyes and sighs in defeat. Zayn and I attempt to get untangled but only result in getting more tangled and groaning in defeat.

"This is going well." Zayn sighs.

"Let me try." I suggest.

Zayn nods and I untangle myself from him. I sigh in relief and roll onto my back, accidentally pulling Zayn with me. Zayn ends up laying on top of me and his hands on either side of my head. This is the moment I am questioning my sexuality and sanity because Zayn just looks so hot right now.

"Um, Zayn... Can you get off me?" I mumble.

"Sorry." Zayn replies, not sounding sorry at all.

He rolls off of me and lays on his back next to me. I sit up and immediately curse when pain erupts in my gut. I lift my shirt and see a massive bruise starting to form. Zayn whistles and I look at him to see a look of pain and worry on his face.

"That's gonna hurt like Hell tomorrow." Zayn predicts.

"Don't jinx me, Malik." I mutter.

"Not trying to, Blondie."

"Zayn! Niall! Move it!" Trisha yells.

"Coming." Zayn grumbles.

Zayn helps me up and I give him a small smile. We walk down the stairs with a bit of a limp and a few curses from me. Waliyha waves me over and I take the seat next to her. Zayn sits across from me, next to Safaa, and kicks me under the table.

"What?" I hiss.

"Sorry." Zayn replies, again not sounding sorry.

I glare at him and rub my sore leg, mentally cursing him. Well, I thought it was mentally until Waliyha and Doniya erupted in giggles. I look at Zayn and see that he has a smirk on his face. Trisha is looking at me with wide eyes and I send her an apologetic look.

"Sorry, Trisha." I say.

"Oh I'm used to it because of Zayn and his mates." Trisha says, waving off my apology.

"Can I meet your mates?"

"Yeah. Today." Zayn says. "We're heading out later."

"Cool."

Zayn smirks and looks right at me. A slight blush covers my face and I look away, not wanting the attention. Waliyha touches my knee and I look at her knowing face. She can tell that I have a secret concerning Zayn, but she's not sure what it is. I hope she figures it out soon.


	2. Chapter 2

**NIALL**

Well, Zayn is abnormally happy, according to Waliyha, Doniya and Trisha. They have no idea what has gotten in to him since I have been here, only that I have been a good influence on him, somehow. 

Someone knocks on the front door and Zayn rushes down the stairs. I hear the door open and a bunch of yelling from lots of boys. Zayn yells for me to come down and I roll my eyes. I get up off my bed and walk down the stairs.

I stop dead when I see Zayn's friends. The first one has curly brown hair and emerald green eyes. The second one has brown hair and brown puppy eyes. The third one is the one that made me stop. He has feathery brown hair and bright blue eyes.

"Niall." Zayn says. "Meet Harry, Liam and Louis."

"Hi." I say quietly.

"Hiya, mate!" Louis greets, slinging his arm over my shoulders. "Call me Lou."

"Okay then,  _Lou_." Harry mocks.

"Can it, Haz."

"Whatever."

Louis rolls his eyes and grins at me. I manage a small smile back and slide out from under his arm. Harry pulls me into a bear hug and releases me with a grin. There is dead silence as Liam takes me in. He meets my gaze and grins, pulling me into a hug. The other lads cheer and pull us two into a group hug.

Their closeness makes my head spin and my chest tighten. I fight the urge to pass out and chuckle. I can't hold it back for long and I look at Zayn. He notices my pale face and immediately grabs my arm. I take a breath and he pushes the lads back slightly.

"Ni, what's wrong?" Zayn asks, concerned.

"I'm claustrophobic." I mutter.

"LADS! Back up!"

Liam, Harry and Louis back up instantly. Zayn guides me to the couch and I sit down. I put my head between my knees and take deep breaths. Zayn rubs my back and I manage a small smile. He smiles back and explains what happened to the lads.

"Niall." Louis whispers. "You alright?"

"Fine, Lou. You don't need to whisper." I reply.

His voice returns to normal volume. "That's fine then."

I chuckle.

"You still want to go out?" Zayn asks.

"I'll be fine, Zi." I assure him.

"Okay."

Although he is reluctant to agree, he is impatient to get out of the house. I get up off the couch and wobble a bit. Louis takes my elbow to keep me steady and leads me outside. We wander down the street until we reach the park.

Louis grins and Liam takes hold of my elbow as Louis speeds off toward the swings, Harry hot on his tail. Zayn follows them at a slow pace, keeping a wary eye on me. I roll my eyes at him and he grins, moving faster. He reaches Louis and Harry, and him and Harry push Louis on the swing, Louis giggling like an idiot.

"You alright, Ni?" Liam asks.

"I'm fine, Liam." I reply, sitting on a bench.

He sits next to me. "What are you doing?"

"What are you talking about?"

"With Zayn."

"I still don't understand."

"He's happy, Niall. He never is this happy, or happy at all for that matter."

"I don't know what I'm doing. Trisha, Doniya and Waliyha said the same thing."

"You bring out the best in him."

"I don't event try to. Hell. I am trying to avoid him."

"Why?"

"Just what happened earlier."

"Niall, what happened?"

"Nothing important."

"Niall." Liam warns.

I sigh. "Do you want the full story?"

"Who do you take me for? Of course!"

"Not here!"

Louis runs over to us and hides behind me. Harry soon follows and hides behind Liam. Zayn stalks over to us and I notice leaves and twigs in his hair. I force back a laugh, but a grin still covers my face. Liam isn't so lucky. He bursts out laughing and Zayn playfully glares at him before ruffling his hair.

Zayn looks at me and I force my grin away. He raises his eyebrow and I shrug. I look away and get my phone out. Waliyha has texted me to tell me that she is going over to her friend's house for the night. I text her back, telling her to have a good time, and put my phone away.

"That my sister?" Zayn asks.

"Yep." I answer.

"What did she want?"

"She's going over to her friend's house tonight."

"Hmm. She spends too much time there now."

"So?"

"Something's wrong."

"Zayn, she's sixteen. Leave her alone." I sigh.

"Who are you to say that?!" Zayn growls.

"Someone who has been in the same position as her!"

"What? A protective older brother and a boyfriend older than you?!"

"Yes, but in my case it was a girlfriend."

"Jesus, Niall!"

Zayn curses under his breath and walks away, pulling the debris from his hair. I glare at him as he walks away and tears sting my eyes. I blink them away before the others notice and look away from Zayn's retreating figure. Liam touches my arm and I shake it off. He sighs and Louis swings his arm around me, comforting me.

"What did I do, Lou?" I whisper.

"You did nothing, Ni." Louis tells me.

"I always do something wrong."

"Not this time."

"With every girlfriend. I always fuck up when I meet their families."

"Niall, does this have anything to do with what happened earlier?" Liam asks.

"I have no idea." I mutter. "Probably does."

"What happened, Li?" Harry asks.

"I have no idea." Liam replies. "I need to know so I can fix this."

"You can't fix this one, Li."

"Haz..."

"He's right, Liam." I tell him. "You can't fix this."

"I can still try." Liam assures me. "I'll do everything I can."

"We all will." Louis adds.

I smile. "Thanks, mates. I appreciate it."

"Let's go."

We all head back to Zayn's house and the boys follow me up to my room. They hesitate in the doorway before walking in and sitting in various places around the room. Liam sits on the desk chair, Harry reclines on the floor and Louis sits on the bed next to me.

“Why did you all hesitate to come in?” I ask.

“Nobody has told you?” Liam asks.

“No shit, Sherlock.”

“This used to be Zayn’s boyfriend’s room.”

“Used to?”

 “He killed himself a year ago, and Zayn hasn’t been the same since.”

"Oh. I'm sorry."

"You shouldn't have even asked, Blondie." Zayn growls from the doorway.

"Zayn!" Liam yelps. "W-We'll go."

Zayn nods and Liam, Louis and Harry leave, each sending me sympathetic looks. Harry closes the bedroom door behind him and Zayn just continues glaring at me. I bite my lip amd look up at him with wary eyes. He eventually sighs and slides down the back of the door.

"Zayn, I'm so sorry." I whisper.

"This is why I didn't tell you!" Zayn shouts. "I don't want your sympathy!"

"What do you want then?"

"To tell me why my  _sister_  is on the phone to her friend, talking about some plan!"

My eyes widen. "W-What?"

"You didn't know?"

"Know what?"

"That she is-"

"BOYS!" Trisha yells. "DINNER!"


	3. Chapter 3

**NIALL**

Zayn chuckles and opens the door before wandering down the stairs. Well...he tries. He trips on the top step and tummbles down half the stairs. Trisha laughs and a small smile appears on my face. Zayn grummbles good naturedly and gets up with a groan.

His shirt sleeve pulls up and my eyes go wide. No... I'm seeing things... Or this is really happening... I shake my head and follow Zayn down the stairs. He sits across from me and starts eating his food. I bite my lip and look down at the food, his wrist running through my head.

Bile rises in my throat and I sprint upstairs. I go into the bathroom and empty my stomach into the toilet. I groan and lean against the cupboard, holding my head in my hands. Someone sits next to me and pats me on the shoulder.

"You alright, mate?" Zayn asks.

"Just fine." I mutter.

"You know what I mean."

"I don't feel sick. I don't know why that just happened."

"You must have been thinking about something."

_Definately._

"What were you thinking about?"

"Shit! Did I say that out loud?"

"Unfortunately."

"Shut up."

I push him away and he chuckles. I look down at his hand and all I can see is what I saw earlier. Bile rises again and I jump to the toilet. The bile pours out of me and I groan again. Zayn rubs my back and sick rises again. The process repeats another two or three times before my stomach is empty.

"Are you sure you're not sick?" Zayn asks.

"I'm sure." I sigh. "I would know, Zayn."

"What were you thinking of?"

I sigh. "Zayn..."

"Actually, don't worry."

"Why?"

"You get everything settled and we'll talk soon. Alright?"

"But-"

"Great!"

Zayn walks out of the room and I frown. What the Hell?! I roll my eyes and flush the toilet. I rinse my mouth out and brush my teeth three times to get rid of the taste in my mouth. I change into my pyjamas and get into bed.

**__~__~__~__~__~__**

My alarm goes off and I groan, turning it off. Yesterday flashes through my mind and my stomach twists. The smell of food wafts into my room and the thoughts of yesterday fade as I walk down to the kitchen, half aware of my actions.

I enter the kitchen and see Zayn standing at the stove, cooking something. My stomach grumbles loudly and Zayn chuckles. He looks over at me and I blush slightly. He motions for me to come in and I do so, standing next to him.

"What's for breakfast?" I ask.

"All you can eat buffet!" Zayn announces.

I chuckle.

"Yeah. It's only bacon, eggs and sausage."

"No pancakes?"

"In the bin."

"I'll make them."

"You cook?"

I playfully glare at him. "Who do you take me for, Malik?"

"A lazy person."

I wack him over the back of the head and he grunts, rubbing the spot lightly. I smirk at him and start to make the pancakes. Zayn goes back to cooking the bacon, eggs and sausage, leaving me room to make the pancakes. I pour the batter into a hot pan and wait.

The pancakes bubble and I flip them over, revealling a perfectly cooked pancakes. Zayn plates up the other food and I put the pancakes on a seperate plate. Doniya and Safaa run down the stairs and sit at the table, eating the food.

By the time Doniya, Safaa, Trisha and Yaser have finished there is no food left. Zayn and I stare at the table gobsmacked. There was enough food there to feed my family and his twice, so we have no idea why it is all gone.

"What are  _we_  going to eat?" Zayn groans.

"We could go get Nandos." I suggest.

"For  _breakfast_?"

"Why not?"

"FIne."

We clean up the kitchen and get dressed; me in blue skinny jeans and a white shirt with my Supras and Zayn in black skinny jeans and a comic-y shirt with a leather jacket and Supras. Zayn grabs his keys and we walk outside. I come face to face with a Harley and my eyes widen.

"Nice." I breathe.

Zayn grins. "Thanks."

He hops on the bike and tosses me a helmet. I put it on and he puts his own on. I sit behind him on the bike and he starts it. I wrap my arms around his waist and he drives off. My arms tighten around his waist and he chuckles.

We eventually reach Nandos and Zayn pulls up out the front, turning his bike off. I jump off the bike and take my helmet off. I put my helmet on the bike and run into the building, Zayn's laugh following me. I run up to the counter and just about order one of everything.

By the time Zayn comes in I am sitting at a table with food piled up aound me. He sits next to me and cautiously reaches out to grab some food. I eye his hand but allow him to take some, reluctantly I might add.

 After we have finished eating, me eating most of it I might add, we headed home. We somehow ended up sprawlled out in my room and listening to random songs. Like, seriously random. It went from Ed Sheeran to Coldplay to The Fray. All over the place.

"I'm sorry about the other day." Zayn mumbles.

"It's fine, Zayn." I sigh.

"I shouldn't have done it."

"Wait."

"What?"

"What day are  _you_  talking about?"

"Yesterday... What day were  _you_  talking about?"

"Don't worry."

"You were talking about earlier yesterday. Weren't you?"

I shrug. "Maybe."

"You're just like Waliyha."

"How?"

"You evade specific subjects without even trying."

"I've always done that."

"Speaking of Waliyha-"

"I'm home!" Waliyha yells.

A grin spreads across my face and I run down the stairs. I pull her into a hug and kiss her forehead, ignoring the boy next to her. He clears his throat and I look up at him. He is glaring down at me and I faintly recognize him from the pictures Waliyha showed me. This is the boy she likes.

"Hi, mate." I greet. "I'm Niall."

"Oh." he says. "I'm Matt."

"So you're the-"

"Niall!" Waliyha hisses. "Zayn's behind you!"

"Huh?"

I see Zayn standing behind us with a confused look on his face.  _Shit_. I let Waliyha go and wrap my arm around her waist, Matt not saying anything. Waliyha introduces Matt to Zayn as her 'friend' and my grip loosens around her.

"Um, Ni." Waliyha says. "Come up stairs. You too, Matty."

"Uh, okay." I mumble.

Waliyha grabs Matt's hand and pulls him up the stairs. I follow them close behind and send Zayn a warning look, telling him not to follow. He raises his hands in surrender and walks into the lounge room. I enter Waliyha's bedroom and she shuts the door behind me.

"Zayn's getting suspicious, Waliyha." I tell her.

"Shit." Waliyha curses. "What do we do? This isn't good!"

"Phase 4?" Matt asks. "Or is it too soon?"

"Phase 4?! Are you serious, Matty?"

"What?"

"Ni and I have only been together for..."

"A year." I supply.

"Phase 4 is still a good idea." Matt says.

"I agree. Zayn will get  _too_  suspicious soon, and I won't be able to do anything to stop him from losing it."

"I think I'll eventually like you, Horan."

"Same goes, Di Angelo."

"Okay." Waliyha interrupts. "Phase 4 tomorrow, or next week?"

"Um..." Matt hums.

"Next week." I say.

"Why next week?" Waliyha asks.

"I'm getting Louis, Harry and Liam on in this."

"WHY?!"

"So they don't try to kill you! Or Matt!"

"Okay. That's a good idea. Tell them tomorrow."

Matt nods. "Don't forget, Horan. I don't want to die young."

I chuckle. "Don't worry. Oh, and keep a low profile you two!"


	4. Chapter 4

**NIALL**

 Zayn was getting closer to the truth, and Waliyha had to do something about it. Matt was hanging out with his fake girlfriend, his ex-girlfriend, and I was on my way to Harry's. I had called the boys up earlier and we agreed that Harry's place was the best place to talk.

 I reach Harry's house and knock on the door. Harry opens it and lets me in. He leads me up the stairs and to his room. I walk in and see Louis sprawlled out on Harry's bed, snoring lightly. I chuckle and a soft smile appears on Harry's face. One of adoration and love.

 I elbow him. "Someone has a crush."

 "I-" Harry starts.

 "You have a crush and you never told me?!" Louis screeches.

 "Thanks, Horan."

 I grin. "No problem, Styles."

 "Who is it?" Louis demands.

 "Not here!" Harry hisses as Liam walks in.

 "Okay, Niall." Liam sighs. "Why are we here?"

 "Yeah." Louis pipes up. "This is strange."

 "Shouldn't Zayn be here?" Harry asks.

 "No!" I exclaim. "No way!"

 "So this is about him. What's wrong?"

 "You know how I'm 'dating' Waliyha?"

 "What's with the quotation marks?"

 "Trying to explain."

 "Sorry. But yeah, we do."

 "Well, I'm actually not. She is just trying to make Matt jealous, and she actually succeeded. I met him yeaterday. He's quite nice."

 "So, what's this got to do with us?" Louis asks.

 I groan. "Do you not see?"

 "I'm not blind."

 Harry hits him. "Idiot."

 "HAZZA!"

 "Be quiet, Louis. This is serious."

 "Thanks." I say. "Just, don't kill Matt or Waliyha tomorrow. Okay?"

 "Why not? She's using you!" Liam growls.

 "It's all part of our plan. She gets Matt and I'm single again."

 "So..." Louis drags out. "What do you want us to do about it?"

 Harry rolls his eyes. "Firstly; don't tell Zayn. Secondly; don't tell anyone. Thirdly; don't talk about it."

 "Ha Ha Ha, Styles."

 I roll my eyes. "Just do it."

**__~__~__~__~__~__**

**WALIYHA**

 Niall better be getting Liam, Louis and Harry on board or Matt and I will be most likely dead next week. Which is actually only tomorrow! At that thought I start hyperventilating and Matt looks over at me with worry. I steady my breathing and send him a small smile.

 "We will be alright." Matt assures me. "You will be alright."

 "What about you?" I whisper. "Will you be alright?"

 "Of course, baby. I'll be just fine."

 "Good."

 My phone vibrates and I get it out of my pocket. I unlock my phone and see that Niall has texted me. I open the text and read it. My eyes widen and I jump away from Matt just as the door opens. Zayn walks in and looks at me weirdly.

 "Why are you on the floor?" Zayn asks.

 "I fell, Zi." I say. "How else do you think?"

 "You were pushed."

 "By who? Matt wouldn't dare, and there is nobody else in  here."

 Zayn opens his mouth.

 "Unless it was M-"

 He slaps his hand over my mouth. "Don't you dare, Waliyha Malik!"

 I giggle.

 "I know!" Niall laughs from the door. "Manny!"

 I pull Zayn's hand off my mouth. "RUN, NIALL!"

**__~__~__~__~__~__**

**NIALL**

 Waliyha pulls Zayn's hand off her mouth. "RUN, NIALL!"

 I grin and sprint down the stairs. I'm just out the door when I hear crashing and Zayn cursing like a mad man. I sprint toward the park and see the perfect spot to hide. I climb up the big boulder and hide in the middle of the cluster of boulders.

 "HORAN!" Zayn yells. "Where are you?!"

 I chuckle.

 "I know you are in the boulders, lad. You might want to run!"

 I scramble out of the boulders and sprint toward the shopping mall. **(A/N: I don't know if there is a mall in Bradford, but there is in the story.)**  I run inside the mall and head to the costume department. I buy a wig and leave. I buy some make-up from the chemist and receive a few weird looks.

 I reluctantly head into the womens clothing section and buy a skirt, top, handbag, stockings and pair of shoes. I pay for them and run into the girls toilet. Luckily, there is nobody in there. I go into one of the cubicals and change into the clothes.

 I put my jeans, top, socks and shoes into the handbag before leaving the cubical. I go to the mirror and apply the make-up. Right now I am thanking Waliyha for getting a broken arm so I had to do her make-up for a few months.

 I step back from the mirror and put the rest of the make-up in the handbag. I put the brown wig on and study myself in the mirror. I feel weird and embarrassed but, I don't even recognise myself. I also have to say that I look hot right now, maybe I should do this more often.

 "Get a grip, N-" I mutter. "Oh, shit."

 I need a name, and one that starts with 'N'. I wrack my brain and come up with some weird names like; Nadia, Natelie, Nora and Nadine. I finally choose Nadine, my ex-girlfriends name, and leave the toilets after practicing my 'girl' walk and 'girl' voice.

 "This better work." I mutter.

 I head toward the park again and see Zayn sitting on the bench, staring off into space. I gulp and walk past him slowly. He looks up at me and I meet his eyes. Tears spring to life in his eyes and I feel guilty. Guilty enough to stop and 'help' him.

 "Are you alright, son?" I ask with my 'girl' voice.

 "Yeah." Zayn croaks.

 "Now, I don't believe that for a second!"

 He smiles.

 "What happened?"

 "It's teen drama. Don't worry."

 "Ah. Does this perhaps include a young girl? Or even a young boy."

 "Yeah. A boy."

 I sit next to him. "Tell me what happened, and I may be able to help."

 "I don't want to be a bother."

 "You're not. Go ahead."

 "If you insist..."

 "Nadine." I supply.

 He smiles. "Lovely name."

 I blush and he chcukles. I wack him and he starts his story. He tells me how 'this boy' is going out with his sister and that, for some reason, it pains him to see this. He tells me about all the fights 'they' have had and how they felt terrible.

 He tells me how his sister is just using 'this boy' to get another boy and I force myself not to roll my eyes at how dumb he is. He must see me fighting my eye roll because he smirks. He tells me how his sister was about to tell her 'friend' about his childhood nightmare and how he stopped her.

 He tells me that his sister must have told 'this boy' about it because all of a sudden 'this boy' says it's name. His sister tells 'this boy' to run and 'he' does so. 'He' runs and hides and Zayn follows him. Zayn figures out that 'he' is in the boulder cluster and that he should run.

 "He does run." Zayn sighs. "I haven't seen him since."

 "How long has he been gone?" I ask.

 "About an hour."

 "Maybe you should text him. Or, you could let him text you."

 "You're smart."

 "I'm older than you, son. Of course I am smart, but so are you, that is, if you choose the right answer to this problem."

 "Are you phsycic?"

 I laugh. "No, I'm just 'smart'."

 He chuckles and we say goodbye. I continue walking and head back to the toilets. I go into the boys toilets and, luckily, nobody is there. I change out of the clothes and back into mine. I take the wig off and wash off the make-up.

 I put the clothes, shoes and wig into the handbag and throw the handbag in the garbage. I walk out of the toilets and run into Zayn. Shit. I keep my head down and walk away, praying that he didn't notice me. He didn't and I sighed in relief, running back to the house.


	5. Chapter 5

**NIALL (NEXT MORNING)**

 Zayn came home late last night and I guess that he stayed out looking for me. When he came into my room last night, I curled up into a ball and whimpered to make him think that he really scared me. He sent me an apologetic look and left.

 I haven't seen him since then, and I hope he isn't doing anything bad. I can't believe what I am going to do, but it must be done. I must go check on Zayn and make sure he is alright, becasue if what I saw the other day is real, then he is in shit.

 I walk up the stairs and to Zayn's room. I knock on the door and walk in. Zayn is curled up in a ball and, for some reason, there are tears streaming down his face. I hurry over to him and touch his arm. He whimpers and pulls away.

 "Zayn!" I hiss.

 "Don't leave me." Zayn mumbles. "You promised."

 "I'm not-"

 "Niall!"

 I jump back.

 "Don't leave!"

 "Zayn, I'm not going anywhere."

 "You promised..."

 I move closer. "Oh, Zayn. I'd never leave you."

 "Promised..."

 I sigh and tears sting my eyes. I place my hand on his tan arm and he moves closer to me. His other hand grabs my wrist and pulls me onto the bed with him. He presses my back against his chest and wraps his arms around my waist.

 "Zayn!" I say. "Let me go."

 Zayn mumbles something and tightens his hold on me. It's then I realize that he is probably still  half asleep and that he won't listen to me. Sure, he can hear me, but he wouldn't do anything. I sigh and close my eyes in defeat. I wasn't going anywhere, and I had no better place to be.

**__~__~__~__~__~__**

 Something moves next to me and my eyes fly open. I am greeted by a tattooed tan chest and the smell of Zayn. Great, I fell asleep. I feel somebody's eyes on me and I slowly close my eyes again, moving closer to Zayn.

 Zayn chuckles. "You are so cute when you are asleep."

 I blush slightly.  _Oh fuck_.

 "You're too forgiving as well, Nialler. I wish you weren't."

 I mumble and move closer, trying to keep fooling him.

 "Waliyha doesn't know what she's going to miss. She doesn't know what she is missing, even after a year."

 I flutter my eyes. "Zee? What's wrong?"

 "Nothing, babe." Zayn sighs. "Go back to sleep."

 "Why did you call me 'babe'?"

 "I don't know. Go back to sleep."

 I hum in consent and close my eyes. I mumble a few times and bury my head in Zayn's chest. He shivers and I smile slightly. I move slightly closer and my lips touch his chest. He shivers again and tightens his hold on me.

 "You cold, Zee?" I murmur.

 "No, Nialler." Zayn whispers. "Go back to sleep."

 I pull back and look up at him. He meets my gaze and his eyes widen slightly. I rub my eyes and sit up slightly. Zayn's hand moves to my face and brushes the hair out of my face. I blush slightly and he chuckles at my reaction.

 "Why are you so cute, Niall?" Zayn whispers.

 "I'm not." I sigh. "I don't know what anyone sees in me."

 "They see beauty and perfection."

 I scoff.

 "They must. You got my sister."

 "Sometimes even boys would come up to me and ask me out."

 "On a date?"

 "I guess. Either that or just to hang."

 "Yeah. We invited you to hang."

 I roll my eyes. "This family is too welcoming."

 Zayn smirks. "We can resent you if you want."

 "How about you deal with what is going on, and leave the rest to me."

 "Okay then, Blondie."

 Zayn's face was closer to mine than it had been at the start of this conversation and I honestly did not know what was going on. Zayn didn't like me like this and I sure as Hell don't. I'm  _straight_ , but he is gay. Or maybe bi.

 "Zayn." I ask. "What are you doing?"

 "Can I try something?" Zayn murmurs.

 I nod slowly and he presses his lips to mine. I jerk back and stare at him with wide eyes. Zayn realizes what he just did and jumps away from me. I move further away and end up falling onto the hard floor with a grunt.

 "Niall..." Zayn tries.

 I shake my head and run from the room. I run into my room and slam the door. I slide down the back of the door and stare at the wall in front of me with wide eyes, going over what just happened in my head.

 Zayn kissed me. Why did he do that?! Zayn never would have done that if I had said no. The funny thing about this situation is what my first instinct was. Trust me, I am still in shock because my first instinct was to kiss him back.


	6. Chapter 6

**NIALL**

 I wake up with a cramped neck and a sore back. I sit up straight and realize that I fell asleep against my closed door. I stretch out my arms and hear a series of pops and cracks. I stand up and a groan forces its way past my lips.

  _The same lips Zayn kissed_. a voice reminds me.

  _Oh, shut up!_  I hiss back.

  _You're going crazy._

_You started talking first._

_You spoke back._

_I'm having a conversation with myself._

_Officially crazy, Niall._

 I roll my eyes and open the door to see a worried Waliyha. I grab he wrist and pull her into the room. She pushes the door closed and tears sting her eyes. I pull her into a hug and kiss the top of her head softly.

 "What's wrong?" I ask.

 "I'm frightened." Waliyha tells me.

 "Why?"

 "We're doing it today. Don't you remember?"

 "Oh."

 "Yeah."

 "There's nothing to be afraid of."

 "How isn't there?"

 "What do you mean?"

 "Zayn is going to be torn between killing Matty and comforting you."

 "Why aren't you in this equation?"

 "I'm just not going to be in 'the mood' to deal with anyone, and Zayn knows that."

 "When are we doing this?"

 "Stage a fight at about lunch."

 "About what?"

 "You kissed Zayn. Well, Zayn actually kissed you."

 "You saw that?!"

 "Yeah. That's what it's going to be about."

 "How about you say that you think I been cheating on you."

 "And?"

 "Make this arguement sound old."

 "Got it. Proof of you two kissing as well."

 "Waliyha!"

 Waliyha giggles and leaves the room. I groan, sitting on the edge of my bad and burying my face in my hands. Someone knocks on my door and walk in. The bed dips next to me and an arm goes over my shoulders. They sigh and I realize that it is Zayn.

 "Hey, Zee." I mutter.

 "Are you mad at me?" Zayn asks.

 "No. I'm just shocked."

 "Why?"

 "I know you like boys and all but..."

 "But what?"

 "Why me?"

 "I just do, Nialler."

 "That's not a proper answer."

 "I don't know how to explain it."

 "Then...just leave me alone until you figure it out."

**__~__~__~__~__~__**

 Lunch rolls around quickly and soon everyone is here, all but one knowing what is going to happen. Zayn just keeps being himself, sneaking glances at me through lunch, and Waliyha watches us carefuly, glaring when our eyes meet and kicking me when I blush slightly.

 "I knew it!" Waliyha yells, standing up.

 "Knew what, babe?" I ask.

 "You are cheating on me!"

 "What?! I told you before!"

 "I knew I had it right when I didn't believe you!"

 "I'm not cheating!"

 "Then what do you call this?!"

 Waliyha holds out her phone and I see the photo of Zayn and me kissing. I hear a clatter and look over at Zayn. He is pale and there is a shocked look on his face. Louis, Harry and Liam share a look of worry and I know that this isn't going as planned.

 "What the Hell?!" I yell.

 "Exactly!" Waliyha shouts. "What is this?!"

 "It's photo-shopped!"

 "I took it this morning!"

 "I never kissed Zayn!" It's the truth because  _Zayn_  kissed  _me_.

 Tears are running down my face by now and Zayn is looking at me with a guilt covered face. Liam excuses himself and leaves the room. Louis and Harry are staring at the scene with worry and I can tell that they hate this.

 "Apparently you did, Niall!" Waliyha yells.

 "I didn't!" I yell again.

 "If you can lie to my face about this then...this isn't going to work anymore."

 Waliyha is close to tears and so are Zayn, Louis and Harry. I take a shaky breath and wipe my tears away. Waliyha is now sobbing and there are silent tears running down Louis' and Harry's faces while Zayn is still holding his back.

 "If that's what you want, Wali." I whisper.

 "It is." Waliyha sniffles.

 I nod and excuse myself from the table. I go into the kitchen and see Liam crying. I pat his shoulder and he faces me, his eyes red, and pulls me into a hug. He doesn't let go of me, instead he tightens his hold and I know something is coming.

 "Is that it?" Liam asks.

 "It wasn't meant to go this far." I murmur.

 "No more fighting?"

 "No more fighting."

 "Good."

 Liam lets me go and gives me a sad smile. He pats my shoulder and leaves the kitchen. I hear voices and then two pairs of arms encompass me. I look up and see Louis and Harry, still crying, hugging me.

 "Hey, guys." I whisper.

 "Oh, Nialler." Louis whimpers.

 "Everything is going to be alright." Harry says.

 "I shouldn't have let this get too far." I mutter. "Now everything is ruined."

 "This isn't too far, Ni."

 "What is?"

 "Going straight to Zee."

 "He's my friend. Nothing more."

 "Okay." Louis says. "That was a huge unesessary jump, Haz."

 "Obviously." Harry sighs.

 "Lou." I say. "Can we talk?"

 "Yeah." Louis answers. "Your room?"

 I nod and Louis follows me up the stairs. Harry watches Louis and I can see jealousy in his eyes. I meet Harry's gaze and smirk. His jaw drops and he knows that I was trying to get this reaction out of him. Louis and I reach my room a moment later and I lock the door behind us.

 "Did you see his face?!" Louis laughs.

 "It was hilarious." I smirk. "And expected."

 "Yeah. What did you want to talk about anyway?"

 "Are you going to tell him?"

 "Tell him what?"

 "That you like him."

 Louis slaps his hand over my mouth. "Shut up!"

 "I knew it!" I say but it comes out muffled.

 "You knew what?" Harry asks.

 "Oh shit." Louis and I say.


	7. Chapter 7

**NIALL**

 Of course Harry would have followed us up here, not that I expected him to actually follow us. Louis nudges me and I look over at his terrified expression. I put my arm around Louis' shoulders and he flinches slightly.

 "What do you know?" Harry asks me.

 "Um..." I mumble.

 "Niall."

 "Louis, can, um, go?"

 Louis nods and Harry watches him carefully as he leaves. The door closes behind Louis and Harry's gaze snaps back to me and my smirk. He flushes and clears his throat before sitting on the edge of my bed.

 "What was that about?" I ask, nudging his arm.

 "Nothing." Harry mumbles.

 "Sure."

 "It was nothing."

 "Harry, tell me."

 "You already know."

 "You little sneak."

 "What?"

 "I thought you liked someone else."

 "Like who?"

 "I'm just teasing, Harry. I know you like him."

 "I know who you like, too."

 "No you don't."

 "You like Zayn."

 I scoff. "Nope. I like someone else."

 Harry blinks in suprise. "Well then."

 "What?"

 "Lou and I had a bet."

 "What kind of bet?"

 "On who you like."

 "That I do or don't like Zayn?"

 "Yeah."

 "Who bet on which?"

 "I bet that you liked him."

 "You better pay up then." I chuckle.

 Harry wacks me over the back of my head. "Idiot."

 "How much was it?"

 "500 pounds." Harry breathes.

 "Jesus, Harry!" I exclaim.

 "I know."

 "Louis Tomlinson!"

 My door opens and Louis pokes his head in. He looks between Harry and me, noticing my annoyed expression and Harry's embarrassed expression. He mutters under his breath and walks in, closing the door behind him. He sits on my bed and watches me carefully.

 "What is with this bet?" I ask.

 "It was just for fun." Harry mutters.

 "Also because we wanted to know the truth." Louis adds. "Sorry."

 "It's fine, Lou." I sigh.

 "It doesn't sound like it."

 "Louis."

 "What's the problem?"

 "This is just more drama to deal with."

 "Oh, Niall."

 Harry and Louis pull me into another hug and I sob into their shirts. Louis rubs my back and Harry murmurs soothing words to me, both making me just cry harder. My door opens and I see Liam through my tears.

 "What-" Liam starts.

 Louis shushes him and Liam closes the door, understanding. He walks over to us and pulls us all into a hug. Once the daddy of the group, always the daddy of the group. Louis, Harry and Liam are now all soothing me and I like this.

 This is true friendship right here, and I have never had friendship like this before. I know that Liam, Louis and Harry are the friends that will nevergive up on you, no matter what you do. Well, there is always a line but I don't think it is as serious as most lines.

 "You going to be alright, Ni?" Liam asks.

 "I'll be fine." I murmur.

 "You sure?"

 "Yeah."

 Liam pulls back and meets my eyes. I look down instantly and he grabs my chin, forcing me to meet his eyes. Tears instantly flood my eyes and Liam sighs, pulling me back into a hug.  _The tears stream down my face_  and it makes this more embarrassing.

 "You're going to be fine." Liam whispers.

 "No I'm not." I mutter. "Never going to be."

 "Why not, Niall?"

 I freeze.

 "Niall?"

 "Go."

 "What?"

 "Go, Liam."

 "Niall."

 "Go!" I exclaim.

 Liam jumps away at my sudden anger and watches me as he leaves the room. The door closes and Harry and Louis pull back. They study my reaction and Louis' eyes widen slightly. He pushes Harry out of the room and locks the door properly this time.

 "Niall James Horan." Louis starts.

 "Don't, Louis" I mutter.

 "What the fuck is going on with you?"

 "Nothing. Don't worry."

 "Niall."

 "Louis."

 He grabs my arm and I flinch at his tight grip. I meet Louis' angry and terrified gaze. I frown and grab his wrist, causing him to flinch. I pull his hand off my arm and he relaxes slightly. He drops his hand onto the bed and I check the red mark on my arm.

 "What was that about, Tomlinson?" I ask.

 "What do you think?" Louis retorts.

 "No idea."

 "You sure?"

 "Yes."

 "Zayn said you were sick the other day."

 "No. I just saw something."

 "When Zayn almost fell down the stairs."

 My eyes widen.

 "What did you see, Niall?"

 I shake my head.

 "Niall. What. Did. You. See?"

 "Nothing!"

 "Niall."

 "I saw cuts!"

 I slap my hand over my mouth and my eyes widen. Louis gulps and looks away. I whimper and fresh tears run down my face. He pulls me into a tight hug and I hold him tightly. He shushes me and I fist his shirt in my hands and whimper again.

 "Oh, Niall." Louis murmurs.

 "It was Zayn." I whisper. "Zayn's cuts."

 "Jesus."

 "Someone has to stop him."

 "Niall, he's probably been at this for - since his boyfriend died."

 "A year?!"

 "Around that."

 "Is it that addictive?"

 "Yes."

 "Fuck it!"

 "Niall!"

 "What?!"

 "I get that you're Irish, but you don't have to swear  _that_  much."

 I chuckle. "Sorry."

 Louis smiles.

 "I always swear when you get to know me."

 "Obviously."

 "Yeah."

 "I'm sorry."

 "About what?"

 "Seeing Zayn's cuts."

 "So am I."

 "But?"

 "I'm also not."

 "Why is that?"

 "I'm glad I know what's got him all secretive and afraid."

 Someone knocks on my door.

 "Yeah?" Louis calls.

 "Lou?" Zayn asks. "What are you doing in there?"

 "Talking to Niall."

 "Can I come in?"

 I share a look with Louis and he motions to the bed. I get the hint and lay down, closing my eyes and cuddling one of my pillows. Louis chuckles and gets up. He hits my leg and I kick him. He yelps and hops to the door. He opens it and Zayn frowns.

 "What happened to you?" Harry asks.

 "Niall kicked me." Louis huffs.

 "Why?"

 "I tried to get him up."

 "Why would you do that?"

 "Zayn is here."

 "Oh."

 I chuckle. "Teaches you not to try wake me."

 "Now you're up!" Louis exclaims. "Don't know why I bother!"

 "Me either."

 Louis sticks out his tongue and vanishes down the stairs, stomping his feet childishly. Harry laughs and follows him. Zayn watches them go, shaking his head the whole time. I look at him and see an astounded look on his face.

 "What is with those two?" Zayn mutters.

 "They're just idiots." I laugh.

 "WE HEARD THAT!" Louis and Harry yell.

 "DON'T CARE!"

 "NIALL!"

 Zayn chuckles. "You sure know how to set them off."

 I shrug. "It's my natural talent."

 "Maybe."

 "What else would it be?"

 "Being yourself."

 I roll my eyes and Zayn sits next to me on my bed. He smiles down at me and I pull him into a hug. He jerks in suprise and hugs me back slowly. He starts to pull away and I whimper. Zayn chuckles and lays down on the other side of my bed.

 "What are you doing?" I mumble.

 "Staying with you." Zayn replies.

 Zayn wraps his arm around my waist and pulls me close to him. My back presses against his chest and his warmth soaks into my cold body. I shuffle closer and he chuckles, his chest shaking. I smile and my eyes start to close.

 "Go to sleep." Zayn murmurs.

 I nod slightly and move closer to Zayn. He pulls a blanket over us and wraps his arm back around my waist. He brushes the hair back from my face and kisses my forehead. I smile and he turns the lamp off.

 "Night, Nialler." Zayn whispers.


	8. Chapter 8

**NIALL**

 I wake up surrounded by warmth and the familiar musky scent. I open my eyes and my suspicions are confirmed when I see Zayn's tanned chest in front of me. Zayn looks down at me and I quickly close my eyes, wanting to tease him again.

 "Still asleep." Zayn murmurs. "I'm not suprised."

 I sigh.

 "I'm sorry about yesterday."

 I mutter under my breath.

 "I-"

 My door opens. "What are you doing, Zayn?"

 "Oh." Zayn says. "Hi, Haz. Hi, Lou."

 "What are you doing, Zayn?" Louis asks.

 "Just...talking."

 "To yourself?"

 "Um...yeah."

 "Go to your own room instead of trying to wake Niall."

 "I'll do that."

 Zayn untangles himself from me and I almost whimper from the loss of contact. I pull a pillow to my chest and hug it tightly. Zayn chuckles and leaves the room. The door closes and someone jumps on the bed. They poke my cheek and my eyes fly open.

 "I knew it!" Louis exclaims.

 "Knew what?" I mumble.

 "That you were awake."

 "Grow up, Lou."

 "You were awake." Harry says. "Weren't you?"

 I nod slowly.

 "What did he say?"

 "He said that he was sorry. That he wasn't suprised that I still asleep."

 "Anything else?"

 I shake my head. "That's all."

 "What did he say last time you ended up in the same bed?" Louis asks.

 "You made that sound  _so_  wrong, Louis!" Harry exclaims.

 "Oops?"

 I chuckle. "Zayn said that I am so cute when I am asleep, that I am too forgiving and that Waliyha doesn't know what she's going to miss, that she doesn't know what she is missing, even after a year."

 "Did he know that she was going to break up with you?!" Louis gasps.

 I shrug. "Who knows?"

 "He's known other things."

 Louis stretches and his hand accidentally brushes my side, sending tingles through me. I shift uncomfortably and Louis looks down at me. He shares a look with Harry and they smile slightly. Harry crouches in front of me and Louis sits up. I sit up slightly and look between them.

 "What are you doing?" I ask.

 "Why did you react that way?" Louis asks.

 "It felt weird."

 "In what way did it feel weird?"

 "Um..."

 "Tingles?" Harry guesses.

 I nod slowly.

 "You like him!"

 Harry grabs my arms and shakes me. I jerk away and rub my arms, forcing the tingles away. Harry and Louis notice my reaction and smirk. Louis wraps his arms around my waist and I tense. Harry rests his hands on my thighs and moves closer.

 "W-What are you d-doing?" I stutter.

 "You're going to like this." Harry whispers.

 Harry presses his lips to mine and I hold back a gasp. Louis kisses my throat and I tilt my head to the side, kissing Harry back. I honsetly can't believe what is happening but, it is. I am enjoying every single second of it.

 Louis' hands slip under my shirt and I suck in a breath, causing Harry to moan softly into my mouth. I take his moan greedily and tangle my fingers in his curls, earning another moan. Louis tightens his hold on my hips and I moan this time.

 Someone knocks on my door and Harry jumps back. Louis lays down on my bed, pulling me with him, and Harry lays in front of me. They pull a blanket over us and I bury my face in Harry's shirt, causing him to moan again.

 "Stop moaning, Haz." Louis teases. "More of that later."

 I roll my eyes. "Liam's coming in."

 "Quiet!" Harry hisses.

 The door opens and, true to my words, Liam walks in. Harry's eyes close and Louis buries his face in my back, almost causing me to arch my back in suprise. Liam chuckles and fixes the blanket that Harry and Louis pulled over us.

 "What's going on, Li?" Zayn asks.

 "They're asleep." Liam whispers.

 "Haz and Lou are in the same bed as him?!"

 "They're only sleeping, Zayn."

 "I heard something."

 "What did you hear?"

 "Moaning."

 I shift slightly.

 "Is he awake?"

 "Niall?" Liam whispers, poking me. "You awake?"

 I hit him.

 "Ouch!"

 "I'll take that as half awake." Zayn chuckles.

 I kick downwards and hit a leg. Zayn yelps and then I hear a loud crash. Harry and Louis jerk into sitting positions and I whine in protest. Harry chuckles and nudges me. I groan and sit up, rubbing my eyes.

 "What?" I groan.

 "Look for yourself." Louis chuckles.

 I peek over the end of the bed and see Zayn laying on the floor, hugging his knee to his chest. I raise my eyebrow and a smirk spreads across my face. Zayn tries to wack me but Louis catches his wrist, frowning down at Zayn.

 "No hitting Nialler." Louis warns.

 "Fine." Zayn mutters.

 "Can I go back to sleep now?" I yawn.

 "Yes, Nialler." Harry mumbles. "I'm going back to sleep too."

 Harry lays back down on the bed and I follow his example. Louis looks over at us and smiles softly, his eyes shinning cleary with adoration. We smile back and he lays down behind me, wraping an arm around my waist.

 Zayn growls in his throat and the door slams. I look over at Liam and see his shocked face. He meets my confused gaze and shrugs. He opens the door and leaves. As soon as the door closes Harry chuckles and Louis smirks against my back.

 "That was hilarious." Louis says.

 "Let's do it again!" Harry laughs.

 "Sleep first." I yawn.

 "Yes. Sleep first." Louis agrees.

 Harry pulls away and pulls his shirt over his head, throwing it into the clothes basket. Louis does the same and they both lay back down. Louis wraps his arm back around my waist and kisses between my shoulder blades while Harry pecks my cheek.

 "Night, Nialler." Louis and Harry say.

 "Night, Lou." I whisper. " Night, Haz."


	9. Chapter 9

**NIALL**

 I wake up surrounded by two different scents and body heats. I open my eyes and see Harry, still asleep, in front of me. I roll over and see Louis, half awake, behind me. He smiles at me and I smile back. He pecks me on the mouth and I flush.

 Louis chuckles. "So innocent."

 "Shut up, Louis." Harry groans. "It's too early."

 "Almost one in the afternoon is too early?"

 "WHAT?!"

 Harry falls off the bed and takes me, and Louis, with him. Harry lands on his back on the floor, I land on my back on Harry's gut and Louis lands on me, his face inches from mine. Our groans echo through the room and the door opens.

 "I'm going to kill you, Harry!" I half yell. "That hurt!"

 "And you think falling on the floor and then having two people falling on top of you doesn't hurt?!" Harry groans. "It fucking does!"

 "I'm not going to say anything." Louis mutters.

 "You better explain." Liam says from the door.

 "Harry said it was too early to be awake and I told him that it is almost one in the afternoon. He fell off the bed and dragged Nialler and me with him."

 "Oh. Don't be any louder."

 "Why not?"

 "You'll wake Zayn. He's in bad shape."

 "And I'm not?!" I exclaim.

 Liam scratches the back of his neck. "Um..."

 "Liam."

 "I'm going!"

 Liam shuts the door and hurries away from my room. Louis, Harry and I share a look of worry and try to get up. We fail and only end up getting even more hurt. Louis gets up and helps me up first, then we both help Harry up.

 "What was  _that_  about?" Harry asks.

 I look at Louis. "I hope not what I'm thinking."

 "So do I, Niall." Louis breathes. "So do I."

 "You think that Zayn is still cutting?" Harry asks.

 Louis face palms. "That's what we were talking about."

 "Oh."

 "You are so thick sometimes."

 "You can be too, Lou!"

 "Not as much as you."

 "I know."

 "Shut up about that!" I sigh. "Should we check?"

 "You check on him." Louis says. "He won't talk to us about what's going on."

 I nod and pull a shirt on, not caring what I look like right now. Harry growls in his throat and Louis licks his lips. I roll my eyes and walk out of my room. I walk to Zayn's room and knock on the door. Zayn opens it and does a double take when he sees me.

 "What's wrong, Blondie?" Zayn asks.

 "Liam said you were in bad shape." I say. "So I came to check on you."

 "Oh. Come on in."

 Zayn opens the door and I walk in, unable to stop my gasp of shock. There are clothes laying everywhere and furniture is up turned. I look over at Zayn and see him just shrug in response, obviously not caring about the state of his room.

 "What the fuck happened?" I ask.

 "I got mad." Zayn mutters.

 "You shouldn't take it out on your room."

 "What should I then? Myself? Believe me, I've done that!"

 "I know, Zayn! I saw!"

 Zayn pales. "When did you see?"

 "Remember the day I was sick?"

 He nods. "Is that what made you sick? Seeing them?"

 I nod. "I saw when you got up off the step. Your sleeve pulled up."

 "How did you know what they were?"

 "How do you think?"

 "No. You used to. Didn't you?!"

 I look away.

 "Either you used to, or you do, Niall. Which one is it?!"

 "I'm going."

 Zayn grabs my wrist. "Niall!"

 "Let me go, Zayn!"

 "What aren't you telling me?!"

 "Let me go!"

 "Niall!" Louis calls. "What's going on in there?"

 "Niall!" Zayn growls. "Tell me!"

 "Let me go, Zayn!" I yell.

 Zayn's door flies open and I am pulled away from Zayn. Louis holds me close to him and I sob into his shirt. Harry and Zayn start arguing and I cover my ears, blocking out most of the harsh words they are throwing at each other.

 "HARRY!" Louis shouts. "MALIK!"

 "You idiot!" Harry yells. "You terrified him."

 "LIAM PAYNE! GET IN HERE AND SORT THIS OUT!"

 Liam sprints up the stairs and into Zayn's room. He sees me crying in Louis' arms with a terrified look on my face and turns to Zayn. Harry backs away when Liam interveens, but Zayn just keeps going.

 "You're the one that's confusing him!" Zayn exclaims. "He isn't stable for your shit!"

 I pull away from Louis and face Zayn. I walk forward and punch him in the jaw. He falls back onto the bed and I go to hit him again. Harry grabs me by the waist and I fight him. Liam holds Zayn down and watches me carefully.

 "YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I AM GOING THROUGH!" I yell. "MIND YOUR OWN FUCKING BUSINESS FOR ONCE!"

 "YOU NEED TO MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS AND I WON'T HAVE TO!" Zayn shouts.

 "JUST STAY OUT OF IT! I CAN HANDLE IT MYSELF!"

 "IT DOESN'T FUCKING LOOK LIKE IT!"

 Harry and Louis drag me out of Zayn's room and, all the while, Zayn is still shouting harsh words at me. Harry and Louis pull me into my room and I collapse onto the ground, sobbing and shaking. Louis and Harry sit next to me and pull me into a hug.

 "Why does this always happen to me?" I sob.

 "Oh, Nialler." Harry whispers.

 "Why?"

 "What was Zayn talking about?"

 "What do you mean?"

 "What wouldn't you tell him?" Louis asks.

 I let him go. "I should have told you two before."

 "What do you mean, Nialler?"

 I turn my arms over and Harry frowns. Louis motions to the lamp and Harry turns it on. They look down at my arms and Harry bites his lip. He walks out of the room and down the stairs. Louis takes hold of my hand and gives it a squeeze.

 "He's not angry, Nialler." Louis says. "He's just shocked."

 "What about you?" I whisper.

 "I'm a litlle mad that you didn't tell me this before."

 "You're not shocked?"

 "I had a thought that this is what Zayn was talking about."

 "This is so wrong. I shouldn't have."

 "We can't always control what sets us off."

 "Niall?" Harry asks. "I got you some water."

 "Thanks, Harry." I say.

 I take the water from him and drink it in ten seconds. Harry and Louis laugh and I wack them both on the shoulder. They chuckle and pull me into a giant hug. They both peck me on the cheek and I blush slightly.

 "SO INNOCENT!" Louis and Harry yells.

 "LARRY!" I yell.

 "What?!"

 "It's a mix of your name. It came out accidentally."

 "We like it!"


	10. Chapter 10

**NIALL**

 My eyes fly open at a loud crash and I jerk into a sitting position. Someone hits the floor and curses echo through the room. Louis shoots up into a sitting postion and we share a look. We look over the edge of my bed and see Harry half awake on the floor.

 "Haz?" I mumble. "Why are you on the floor?"

 "No idea..." Harry yawns, eyes closing.

 Soon his quiet snores fill the room and I smile at how innocent he looks. Louis nudges me and I look at him to see a smirk on his face. I frown and he pulls me out of the room, down the stairs and into the kitchen.

 "What are we doing?" I hiss.

 "Pranking Haz." Louis chuckles.

 "How?"

 "We need...straws and a permanent marker."

 "Um..."

 "Please."

 "Straws in the second draw on the right and the marker is in the jar on the cupboard."

 Louis grins and opens the draw I mentioned. He grabs the straws and marker before we hurry back upstairs, small laughs escaping our mouths. We enter my room and see Harry still asleep on the floor.

 "Now what?" I ask.

 "Show time!" Louis says.

 Louis sneaks over to Harry's prone form and gets the straws out of his pocket. He pokes a few into Harry's nose and I stiffle a laugh. I get the marker out of my pocket and hand it to Louis. He draws and writes a few things on Harry's face.

 "Return these to the kitchen." Louis hisses.

 I nod and take the marker and straws from Louis. I hurry quietly down the stairs and into the kitchen. I put the marker back in the jar and the straws back in the draw. I hear someone coming downstairs and I grab a cup, filling it with water.

 "Ni?" Liam yawns. "What are you doing?"

 "Getting a drink." I say. "What are  _you_  doing?"

 "Same."

 "I'll get it for you."

 I get another cup and fill it with water. I hand it to Liam and he smiles his thanks. We drink our water before drying the cups and putting them away. We say goodnight and wander back up the stairs. I walk into my room and see Louis laying on the bed.

 "What took you so long?" Louis hisses.

 "Liam." I mutter.

 He rolls his eyes. "Of course."

 "I'm going to sleep now."

 "Come on then."

 Louis moves over and I lay down next to him. His back presses against mine and I get an idea. I roll over and pull him to me. His back presses against my chest and my arm automatically goes around his waist. Louis sighs and shuffles closer.

 "Comfortable, Lou?" I whisper.

 Louis nods. "Tired too."

 I chuckle and my eyes close slowly. I press a kiss to Louis' cheek and he shivers at the contact. His eyes close and he sighs. I bury my face in Louis' shoulder and sigh. This feels so natural and normal. It also feels so right.

**__~__~__~__~__~__**

 "WHAT THE FUCK?!" Harry yells.

 "Huh?" Louis mumbles. "What going on?"

 "No fucking idea." I mutter.

 We sit up and the blanket tangles around us. I curse and rip the blanket off us, causing Louis to laugh. I roll my eyes and get up. Louis stands next to me and we walk out of my room. I see the light on in the bathroom and go to the door.

 "Harry?" I ask.

 "Hey, Niall." Harry mutters.

 "Why are you up so early?"

 "I came to go to the toilet and turnt the light on."

 " _That's_  why you yelled?" Louis groans. "Too early, Haz."

 "That is  _not_  why I yelled."

 "Why then?!"

 "This!"

 Harry faces us and our gasps fill the room. There is permanent marker  _all_  over his face; words, pictures and symbols. I look over at Louis and we burst out laughing. This just made our day, and it made it good.

 "Hilarious." Harry says sarcastically.

 "It is!" Louis exclaims.

 "Louis."

 "Alright. Sorry."

 "I need to eat." I groan. "I feel sick."

 Louis rolls his eyes. "You haven't eaten for two days."

 "Yay."

 "What do you want?"

 "Is Nandos open?"

 He checks his phone. "By the time we get there."

 "Let's go."

 "I'll drive."

 "Can you bring me back something?" Harry asks.

 "If I don't eat it all!" I laugh.

 "Niall!"

 "No promises!"

 Louis chuckles and grabs my arm, dragging me back to my room. I grab a t-shirt off the floor and pull it on, Louis scent filling my nose. Louis pulls on a shirt and rolls his eyes when he sees that it is one of mine.

 I pull on a pair of my skinny jeans and Louis pulls on some jeans. We put our shoes on and Louis 'tests' them out by almost falling down the stairs. I reach the bottom of the stairs and shove him playfully.

 We walk outside and it turns out that Louis' car isn't going to work for us. I groan and we start our walk to Nandos. We reach it half an hour later and walk inside. We order two of everything and head back to Zayn's, me having been stopped from eating it all.

 "We're back!" Louis shouts.

 "With Nandos!" I add.

 Liam, Harry, Doniya, Waliyha, Safaa, Zayn and Trisha run down the stairs and sit at the table. Louis and I spread the food out on the table, gasps escaping from everyone. I watch Louis slip a card into his back pocket and smirk.

 "Those are Harry's." I whisper. "Aren't they?"

 Louis nods. "I did it again."

 We start eating and the smell of food must wake Yaser, because he wanders down here and starts eating with us. Louis, Harry and I are still eating ten minutes later, and there is still quite a bit of food left on the table.

 "I'm full." Louis groans.

 "I don't think I'm going to eat ever again!" Harry exclaims.

 "I agree with you, Lou." I say. "I'll be back down here soon."

 "No you won't!" Louis snaps. "This is for lunch."

 I whimper.

 "Sorry, but it is."

 "What are we going to do until then?"

 "Make out?" Harry suggests.

 Louis and I stare at him in shock.

 "I wasn't being serious!"

 Louis smirks. "Sure you weren't."

 "Maybe a bit."

 "I'm in."

 "Me too." I say.

 "I'm shocked, Nialler." Louis says. "I never thought I'd hear you say that."

 "Well, now you have."

 "Yep." Harry and Louis say in sync.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just so you know, this is strange to write. I feel so awkward, no idea why but I do. I feel like someone is going to jump into my room and catch me writing this. Oops! #Don'tGetCaught.  
> I'll, uh, give you a warning when it starts and is over.  
> I'm going to post up to Chapter 15 today. Have fun. <3  
> ~Cat ;)

**NIALL**

 Harry, Louis and I head back up to my room and sit on my bed. We share looks, not sure who's going to start this. Louis shrugs and kisses Harry. I move over behind Harry and wrap my arms around his waist.

 I press my lips to Harry's throat and he shivers under my touch. I find his weak spot near the base of his throat and start to suck on it. Harry moans into Louis' mouth and grips my thigh tightly. I growl in my throat and move my hands under Harry's shirt, earning another moan.

 "What do you want, Harry?" Louis hisses.

 "I-I-" Harry moans as I start nibling on another spot.

 "Answer me."

 "I want you."

****STARTS HERE****

 I peek a Louis through my lashes and he moans quietly. Harry then shifts so Louis is between me and him and, by the looks of it, Louis likes it when Harry takes control. I latch my mouth onto Louis throat and he moans loudly.

 Harry grins and slides his hands to Louis' ass, brushing my thigh slightly. I moan softly against Louis' throat and Louis drops his head onto my shoulder at the sensation. I look at him and his eyes are filled with lust.

 "Fuck, Niall." Louis mutters. "You look so innocent."

 "Only for you." I whisper in his ear.

 "I'm taking some of it away."

 Louis' hand finds it's way to my crotch and I draw in a sharp breath. He palms me through my jeans and I groan, my jeans getting tighter by the second. Louis' moan cuts mine off and I see that Harry is palming him too.

 "Fuck." Louis moans.

 "Moan our names." Harry hisses to Louis.

 I squeeze Louis' ass and he moans my name. Harry must do something to him becasue a second later, Louis moans Harry's name. My hands find their way to Harry's crotch and start palming him through his jeans.

 "I'm gonna-" Louis mutters. "Fuck!"

 "Cum for us, baby." Harry says huskily.

 "Oh God."

 "Cum for us." I murmur. "Come on, babe."

 "Fuck! HarryNiall! Yes!" Louis moans.

 Harry pulls his hand away from Louis' crotch and Louis pants. Louis starts palming Harry and me at the same time, earning moans from both of us. Heat pools in my gut and I bite my lip. Harry looks at me and I can tell that he is close too.

 "Cum for us." Louis whispers.

 Harry and I whimper.

 "Cum, love."

 "Fuck!" Harry hisses.

 "Cum for me."

 "Louis! Niall!"

 Harry cums and both boys turn to me. I moan at their lust filled gazes and Harry smirks. He sits me on his legs and Louis sits on my legs, his legs either side of me and Harry. He stares into my dark eyes while he continues to palm me.

 "Fuck, Ni." Louis says. "You can hold it."

I moan.

 "Cum for me, love."

 My head lands on Harry's shoulder.

 "Look at me."

 I look at Louis's dark eyes.

 "Cum for us." Harry and Louis whisper.

 "Fuck! LouHaz! Fuck!" I moan.

 Once I have cum, Louis gets off me and we all collapse onto my messed up bed. Louis lays in front of me and Harry lays behind me, reminding me of what just happened. We lay there, panting, for a moment, trying to figure out what we just did.

****IT'S OVER****

 "We need to change." Louis sighs.

 "We need a shower." I add.

 Harry laughs. "Let's get our clothes and have one."

 "Together?"

 Louis grins. "Not so innocent anymore."

 I shrug. "Together or not?"

 "I have  _no_  control over what happens in that bathroom."

 "Let's use my shower then."

 I get up and get some clean clothes out of my drawer. I toss some to Louis and Harry, hoping that the clothes will fit them. I manage to get to the door of my bathroom and open it. Harry, Louis and I walk in, staring at the space in the room.

 "Who else uses this bathroom?" Harry asks, picking up a can of hairspray.

 "Zayn." Louis says.

 "How do you know?"

 "I bought that for him last month."

 "Are we allowed to even use this room?"

 "You can." Zayn says from the door. "Just don't touch any of my stuff."

 "Thanks, Zee." Louis says.

 "I'll lock the door. Make sure you lock the other one too."

 Zayn walks back into his room and closes and locks the door. I do the same to my door and start the shower. We strip down to our boxers and toss our clothes into a pile in the corner. I pull off my boxers and hop in the shower.

 "You just going to watch me?" I tease.

 "I might." Louis says slowly.

 "Then you miss out on a great view."

 They take off their boxers and get into the shower with me with no hesitation after that.

 "Peverts." I mutter.

 "Only for you two." Harry says, getting the shampoo.

 "Ditto." Louis adds, taking the shampoo from Harry.

 "Fine with me." I say, putting some of the shampoo on my hand.

 We start massaging the shampoo into each other's hair; Louis massing it into my hair, me massaging it into Harry's hair and Harry massaging it into Louis' hair. We then wash it out and start to wash ourselves. This is where it gets weird.

 Harry keeps his eye on me and Louis, Louis keeps his eye on me and Harry, and I keep my eye on Louis and Harry. Let's just say that we watched each other wash each other, if that makes any sense at all. We then wash off the soap suds and get out of the shower.

 Harry turns the shower off and I toss him and Louis a fluffy pink towel each. The towels weren't originally pink, so Louis and Harry don't complain about the colour of their towels. We dry off and get dressed in our clean clothes.

 "That was fun." Harry muses. "Let's do it again sometime."

 Louis rolls his eyes. "Maybe at your place next time."

 "Why not yours?"

 "My sisters are always home. Your's isn't."

 Harry opens his mouth.

 "Neither is your mother or Robin."

 "Fine."

 I chuckle and unlock the door, walking into my bedroom. I trip over something and land on a pile of clothes. I curse under my breath and the light turns on. I look around my messy room and share a look with Louis and Harry.

 "We need to clean this room if you're going to stay." I say.

 "There's a washing machine and a dryer in your bathroom." Louis says.

 "Let's get to work." Harry says.

 We pick up piles of clothes off the floor and sort them into piles. We wash and dry them by colour, and it takes a while. We then fold them up and sort out which item of clothing belongs to who, which takes even longer because Harry and Louis share clothes.

 After putting the clothes away, we straighten the room up and make my bed. I then get the vaccuum and Harry vaccuums the floor twice while Louis and I watch him with shock. We then sort out our shoes and put them away.

 "Is it lunch yet?" I ask.

 "It's almost three." Harry says.

 "Past lunch." Louis says. "Oh well. I still gotta eat."


	12. Chapter 12

**LOUIS (Different POV! WHOO!)**  

 It seems like Niall really enjoyed what we did, it also seems like he has never done that before. Who knows, maybe he hasn't and that was his first time. It wouldn't suprise me if that was only the first time because he looks so innocent.

 Right now we are sitting in Zayn's kitchen eating the left over Nandos that Niall and I bought this morning, for breakfast no less. Harry is stuffing his face and Niall is picking at his food, it's like he isn't hungry at all.

 "You alright, Nialler?" I ask.

 "Hmm?" Niall asks, distracted.

 "Are you alright?"

 "Yeah. Why do you ask?"

 "You're not eating."

 "Oh. That." he mumbles, looking away.

 "Niall?"

 "Yeah?"

 "You keep spacing out. Are you sure you're alright?"

 "I don't know, Lou. I feel weird."

 Harry looks at me. "What's the matter?"

 "Niall isn't eating." I explain.

 "Why not?"

 "He said that he feels weird."

 "Could it have been...?"

 I shake my head. "No."

 "Okay. Niall?"

 "Yeah, Haz?" Niall asks.

 "What's bothering you?"

 He shrugs. "Nothing."

 "You're worried about something."

 "Am I?"

 "How can you tell?" I ask.

 "The look on his face." Harry says. "What's worrying you, babe?"

 "I don't know." Niall says.

 Zayn wanders into the kitchen and Niall tenses. Harry and I watch Zayn sit next to Niall and start eating Niall's food. Niall just gets up and walks away, not even going to try get his food back. Zayn looks at us with a questioning look and we shrug.

 "He's been like this for a few days." Zayn says.

 "Since that day he went to check on you." Harry adds.

 "Huh? When did he do that?"

 "Two days ago. I think."

 "Don't remember that."

 "Were you  _drunk_ , Malik?" I growl. "Fuck it!"

 "I probably was." Zayn mutters. "You two kind of set me off."

 "How did we do that exactly?"

 "I  _know_  I heard moaning coming from Niall's room."

 "Oops?" Harry mumbles. "Too loud were we?"

 " _You_  were." I retort. "Anyway..."

 "I hear Harry's moan and yours." Zayn muses. "Then it must have been Niall."

 "It was."

 "I don't know why I took it so...hard."

 "You like him, Zee. It's understandable for you to react that way."

 "It's just so hard to see him like this."

 "Like what?" Niall asks. "Weak? Unstable? Stupid?"

 "Niall!" Harry exclaims.

 "I am though. Aren't I?"

 "No!"

 "I'm weak, unstable, stupid, confused and it seems like I am unwanted too."

 "You're not!"

 "Yes I am, Harry! Why can't you all see that?!"

 "Because we love you!" I yell.

 "Y-You love me?" Niall whispers.

 "Yes, Nialler. We do."

 "Nobody has ever said that to me before."

 "Oh, Niall."

 I run over to him and pull him into a hug. He buries his face in my shirt and Harry walks over to us, tears building in his eyes. He pulls us into a hug and starts sobbing quietly. I see Liam step into the kitchen, his face pale, and walk over to Zayn, pulling him into a hug.

 Zayn pulls away and watches Harry, Niall and me with a sad expression. He slowly walks over to us and pulls the three of us into a hug. Niall shifts slightly and I look at him to see him moving closer to me, and further from Zayn.

 "Forgive me." Zayn whispers.

 Niall shakes his head. "Maybe in time."

 "That's all I ask."

 "Eventually."

 Zayn smiles.

 "You better clean your room first though." he teases.

 "Clean yours."

 "We did." Harry, Niall and I say. "This morning."

 "Before you had your  _shower_?"

 Liam pales. "You all had a shower together?!"

 "Zayn!" we whine.

 "Sorry!" Zayn exclaims. "I didn't know that he didn't know!"

 We groan and pull away from the group hug. Liam crosses his arms and narrows his eyes at Harry, Niall and me. Harry gulps and shares a look with Niall, while I meet Liam's gaze full on with no fear of what he is going to say.

 "What was going through your heads?!" Liam exclaims. "Having a shower together! I have never thought that you and Harry would do that with Niall, Louis! I thought you two had a better sense of what is right and what is wrong!"

 "Are you done?" Niall sighs.

 "And you! I thought you were straight! This just turned everything around! It's not that I hate gay's and bi's but seriously, Niall!"

 "What? You're mad because you don't have a straight guy friend? Get a grip, Liam! Not everyone has to be like you!"

 "Wow, Niall. Are you always this annoying?"

 "Are you always the fucking judgemental?!"

 "No."

 "Good."

 Niall storms out of the room, out of the house actually, and vanishes down the street, I glare at a shellshocked Liam before running after him. Harry quickly follows him and we split up; him taking the shoping area and me taking the parks and fields.

 After an hour of searching Harry and I meet up in the main park with no luck. We wander back to Zayn's and report the bad news. Liam just sighs and walks out, while Zayn almost has a mental breakdown. Oops?


	13. Chapter 13

**NIALL**

 "Forgive me." Zayn whispers.

 I shake my head. "Maybe in time."

 "That's all I ask."

 "Eventually."

 Zayn smiles.

 "You better clean your room first though." I tease.

 "Clean yours."

 "We did." Harry, Louis and I say. "This morning."

 "Before you had your  _shower_?"

 Liam pales. "You all had a shower together?!"

 "Zayn!" we whine.

 "Sorry!" Zayn exclaims. "I didn't know that he didn't know!"

 We groan and pull away from the group hug. Liam crosses his arms and narrows his eyes at Harry, Louis and me. Harry gulps and shares a look with me, while Louis meets Liam's gaze full on with no fear of what he is going to say.

 "What was going through your heads?!" Liam exclaims. "Having a shower together! I have never thought that you and Harry would do that with Niall, Louis! I thought you two had a better sense of what is right and what is wrong!"

 "Are you done?" I sigh.

 "And you! I thought you were straight! This just turned everything around! It's not that I hate gay's and bi's but seriously, Niall!"

 "What? You're mad because you don't have a straight guy friend? Get a grip, Liam! Not everyone has to be like you!"

 "Wow, Niall. Are you always this annoying?"

 "Are you always the fucking judgemental?!"

 "No."

 "Good."

 I storm out of Zayn's house and run down the street, the house vanishing from sight. I reach the park and see a group of three girls. They see me and motion me over. I walk over to them and they smile at me.

 "How may I help you ladies?" I ask.

 The brown haired girl giggles. "I'm Nynke."

 The blonde smiles. "I'm Desire."

 The red-head nods. "Marcie."

 "Do you know Liam Payne?" Nynke asks.

 "He's one of my mates." I reply. "Why do you ask?"

 "If we hide you from Harry and Louis, will you introduce us?"

 "Yes."

 "Girls!"

 Desire and Marcie grab one of my arms each and lead me away from the park. We go into a Starbucks shop and I roll my eyes. The girls laugh at me and lead me to a booth. We order coffees and sit in silence while we wait.

 "Sorry for earlier." Marcie says. "Nynke gets a bit hyper and Desire is just really out-going."

 "It's fine." I assure. "I'm guessing you're the level headed one."

 "Hardly. I'm just the most normal."

 "Well, I'm Niall."

 "Ah." Desire says. "Waliyha's ex-boyfriend.'

 Nynke sighs. "Poor thing. It was her idea though."

 "And I was stupid enough to do it." I mutter.

 "Anyone play football?" Desire asks.

 "I do."

 "You want to play?"

 Marcie's phone goes off. "No time."

 "Why not?" Nynke whines. "It would have been fun to see Desire lose."

 "Waliyha just sent me a text."

 "What does it say?"

 "Lou and Haz are home. Bring Ni back."

 "Come on, Niall." Desire says. "Some other time."

 "You're on, Desire." I laugh.

 Marcie rolls her eyes and walks out of Starbucks. Nynke and Desire drag me after them and out of the store. We walk to Zayn's house and I hear something shatter. We run inside and I see Zayn in the kitchen, surrounded by broken plates.

 "What the fuck, Zayn?!" I exclaim. "I'm gone for an hour and  _this_  happens?!"

 "Niall!" Zayn exclaims, pulling me into a hug.

 "What did you do this for?!"

 "I lost it again! I'm sorry!"

 "Where the fuck is Liam when you need him?!"

 "He went to look for you."

 "Waliyha!" I yell. "Tell Liam to get his arse back here!"

 "Got it, babe!" Waliyha yells back. "He's on his way!"

 "Thanks, Wali!"

 "No problem!"

 Desire coughs. "What's going on?"

 "Oh." I say. "Liam's not here right now."

 "Do you want help cleaning this up?"

 "Are you sure?"

 Marcie nods. "We discussed it."

 "Okay then."

 Marcie grabs the broom and starts sweeping the shattered glass into a pile. Waliyha walks down and grabs the vaccuum. Desire gets the mop and bucket. She fills the bucket up and mops the floor after Waliyha has finished vaccuuming. Nynke puts the glass in the bin and they put everything away before admiring their work.

 I whistle. "Nice job girls."

 They blush. "Thanks, Niall."

 "Where did the glass go?" Liam chuckles. "It was a danger zone not ten minutes ago."

 "Hey, Liam." Desire says shyly.

 "D-Desire?"

 "Yep. How have you been?"

 Liam blushes slightly. "Good. Yourself?"

 "Waiting for you to turn up on my single radar."

 "I am on it. Dani and I were done a month ago."

 "Could we take a chance?"

 "Yes. How about tonight? At eight."

 Desire nods rapidly. "I'll be waiting."

 Marcie, Nynke and Waliyha squeal happily and Louis and Harry grin. Zayn slings his arm over my shoulders and I smile at him, poking his side. He chuckles and goes to mess up my hair. I look warningly at him and he puts his hand back on my shoulder.

 "No hair, Zayn." I remind him. "Or your's may be gone by morning."

 "Okay!" Zayn exclaims. "Just don't do that!"

 "Deal."

 "Deal."

 We shake on it and Louis coughs. I look at him and he motions to Liam and Desire. I look over at them and see them about to kiss. I shift in my spot, slightly uncomfortable, and trip over Zayn's foot. I hit the floor and everyone looks at me.

 "Zayn's foot." I mutter.

 Zayn chuckles. "My foot's sorry."

 "Ha ha ha."

 "What the fuck?" Harry laughs. "Your  _foot_  is sorry?! I'm dying over here!"

 "No you're not." Liam sighs.

 "Of laughter." Marcie laughs.

 Nynke tries to keep a straight face and fails misreably. Louis chuckles and Zayn soon starts laughing with them. Desire and Liam look at Waliyha and they all burst out in laughter. I look at them with confusion and roll my eyes when I get it.

 "Stupid sense of humor, guys." I say.

 "It's actually not that funny." Desire muses.

 "I didn't even get it." Liam adds. "I had no idea what was going on."

 Waliyha pulls Marcie and Nynke up to her room and motions for Desire to follow. Desire pecks Liam on the cheek and follows them up to Waliyha's room. We all see Liam go red and Louis and Harry start to tease him.

 Zayn chuckles. "You always make bad days, or weeks, better."

 "I don't know how." I say.

 "Your personality and charm."

 "Stop teasing me."

 "I'm not."

 "Sure."

 "I'm not!"


	14. Chapter 14

**DESIRE**

 I throw clothes out of my closet and they land on my bed. I groan in frustration and kick my bed. I have nothing to wear, and Liam is going to be here in ten minutes. A laugh sounds in my room and I look up to see my mother at the door.

 "Nothing to wear?" Mother asks.

 "No." I groan.

 "Wear your ripped skinny jeans, knee high boots, black tank top and your varsity jacket."

 "Thanks, Mother."

 "No problem."

 I smile.

 "Liam's downstairs."

 My eyes widen and Mother walks away, laughing slightly. I pull on my ripped skinny jeans and black tank top before hurrying down the stairs, boots in one hand and jacket in the other. I go into the living room and see Liam talking to my mother.

 "Hey, Li." I say, putting on my boots.

 "Hey, babe." Liam greets. "I'm a little early."

 "I know, and yet I'm rushing."

 "Slow down then."

 "Will do."

 I sit down on the couch and fix my boots up. Liam chuckles and I look at him through a veil of my hair. He brushes it back and I smile, blushing slightly. He pecks me on the forehead and Mother smiles at us, her phone going off.

 "You two are so cute." Mother squeals.

 I blush. "Mother!"

 "My baby's going on a date!"

 Liam chuckles. "Let's go, babe."

 "Please." I mutter.

Liam and I leave the house, ignoring Mother's sobbing. He opens the passenger side door of his car and I get in, smiling at him. He closes the door and climbs in the driver's side. We put on our seatbelts and he pulls away from the curb.

 "Where are we going, Li?" I ask.

 "No place fancy." Liam answers.

 "Starbucks?"

 "Yeah."

 "I love Starbucks!"

 "I know. You always used to drag Waliyha there."

 "True."

 Liam grins and we pull up outside Starbucks. We order our coffees and wait for them. While we are waiting, I get us a booth and Liam goes out to his car. He returns when the server does and I see that he has a plastic bag.

 "What's in the bag?" I ask.

 "Dinner." Liam says. "Harry cooked it."

 "How sweet!"

 "Zayn helped. I tried to but they kicked me out of the kitchen."

 "Oh, Li-Li."

 "Let's eat."

 Liam sits across from me and puts the bag on the table. He puts a container of fried rice, a container of chicken pieces and a container of home-made bread sticks on the table along with knives, forks and serviettes. I notice that there is no spoons and I frown.

 "No spoons?" I ask.

 Liam cringes. "No spoons, babe."

 "Oh. You hate spoons."

 "I have a phobia of spoons."

 "I remember that now."

 He smiles. "The food's getting cold."

 Liam dishes the food onto two paper plates and I smile at him. I have fun trying to eat the fried rice with a fork and Liam chuckles. He shows me how to scoop it up and we share a laugh. We eat our food and tell jokes for close on an hour.

 "It's almost closing time, kids." our server says.

 "We're going now." Liam says.

 "Thanks for coming."

 Liam and I put all our rubbish in the plastic bag and leave Starbucks, with a wave to our server. We get into Liam's car and he drives us back to my place. There are no lights on in the house and I guess that Mother went to bed.

 "Thanks for taking me out." I say.

 "It's fine, babe." Liam says. "Let me walk you to the door."

 "Okay."

 Liam gets out of the car and closes the door. He hurries around to my door and opens it for me. I blush and get out, Liam closing the door behind me. I smile at him and we walk to my door. At the door, Liam pecks me on the lips and I go red.

 "Goodnight, babe." Liam says.

 "Goodnight, Li-Li." I murmur.

 "Come over tomorrow?"

 "Yeah. We can pley football."

 He grins. "It's a date."

 I flush. "Liam..."

 "Night."

 "Night."

 Liam pecks me on the lips one more time and walks back to his car. I wait until he is gone to go inside and start jumping around like a crazy teenager. Wait! I  _am_  a crazy teenager! Oops? I shake it off and go up to my room.

 I reach to take off my varsity jacket and stop when I realize that I left it in Liam's car. I roll my eyes at my stupidity and sit on my bed, pulling my boots off. I change into my pyjama's; a pair of old grey shorts and a black singlet top.

 I put my jeans, tank top and boots back into my wardrobe and close the doors. I go into my bathroom and brush my teeth before running into my room and jumping on my bed. I get under the covers and turn my lamp off.

 I snuggle into the blankets and hug a pillow to my chest. The date runs through my mind and I smile to myself. I touch my lips softly, remembering the  _kisses_  that Liam gave me not five minutes ago. I giggle and close my eyes, falling into a comfortable slumber.


	15. Chapter 15

**NIALL (DURING DATE)**

 Harry and Louis are out, Liam is out with Desire, Waliyha is out with Marcie and Nynke, Safaa is at a friends house, Doniya is out with her boyfriend, Trisha and Yaser are at dinner and Zayn is...somewhere. Me? I am laying on my bed, staring at the blank ceiling.

 "Niall?" Zayn calls. "Anyone?"

 I stay quiet.

 "He must have gone out."

 My door opens and I stay still.

 "Fuck!"

 "Zee?" I ask. "What's going on?"

 "I thought you went out."

 "Nowhere to go."

 "You should have texted me."

 "You were out. It's obvious you had plans."

 "I didn't."

 "Where were you then?"

 "Just doing random things."

 "Like what?"

 "Making sure Haz and Lou don't do any shit that we probably get pinned on me."

 I smile. "That's them for ya."

 "Yeah."

 "You don't have to stand in the doorway."

 "Huh?"

 "You can come in."

 "I'd rather not."

 I sit up. "Right. I forgot."

 He smiles sadly. "Yeah."

 "You want help cleaning your room then?"

 "If you want."

 I get off my bed and follow Zayn to his room. He can't get the door open and I go back to my room. I go through our bathroom and into his room. I ignore all the clothes and go over to the door. I move the fallen bookshelf and the door opens.

 "Thanks, Niall." Zayn says.

 "No problem." I reply. "Now. About this room..."

 We sort out the clothes from rubbish and bottles before throwing them into the washing machine. I then grab a garbage bag and we pick up all the bottles and rubbish, throwing them into a bag. We then fix up all the furniture and put the books on the bookshelf.

 "Take this to the trash." I say. "I'll vaccuum."

 "Sir, yes, sir." Zayn mocks.

 I wack him over the back of his head and he walks out of the room, dragging the garbage bag behind him. I get the vaccuum and start vaccuuming his floor. I meet a pile of clothes and sigh. I move them and yelp suddenly.

 "What happened?" Zayn asks from the door. "What did-"

 "Zayn..." I trail off.

 He looks at the clothes and gulps. I lift the shirt off the top and reveal a stash of alcohol and, even worse, sharp objects. He looks at me and I can see the tears in his eyes. I pull him into a hug and rock him back and forth, his sobs soon subsiding.

 "When was the last time?" I ask.

 "A week ago." Zayn mutters. "I'm trying to stop."

 "It's hard. Isn't it?"

 He nods. "I remember bits of what happened last time you were in here."

 "You wanted to know whether-"

 "You cut or used to cut."

 "I never answered."

 "Will you now?"

 I sigh. "The last time I cut was..."

 "Niall."

 "Earlier today."

 "W-Why?"

 "I heard you, Lou and Haz talking."

 "Why else?"

 "Liam got a girl, Waliyha got her friends, Haz and Lou have each other and you have your sisters. I have nobody."

 "You have me, Niall."

 "No, I don't."

 "What makes you say that?"

 I pull away. "All of this."

 "I don't get it."

 "You, your cutting and you hole yourself up in here. It's like you hate everybody."

 "I don't. I just don't know how to act around people anymore."

 "Nobody knows how to act."

 "You seem to do, Ni."

 I scoff. "I don't. I just improvise."

 "That's better than me trying to do anything."

 "You were fine a few weeks ago."

 "How?"

 "You were happy, and fun to be around."

 "Was I?"

 I nod. "Everything changed when the lads told me."

 "I was scared, Niall."

 "Of what?"

 "This is ridiculous."

 "What were you sacred of, Zayn?"

 "Don't worry."

 "Zayn Jawaad Malik."

 "You!"

 "What?!"

 "I was scared of you, Niall!"

 I stare at him in shock.

 "You happy now?! That's what you wanted!"

 "Zayn..."

 "Don't, Niall!"

 "I didn't know..."

 "Nobody did!"

 "Why didn't you just say something?"

 "I was  _scared_ , Niall."

 "I know what it's like to be scared, Zayn!" I exclaim. "Everyone in this whole fucking house does!"

 "I doubt it."

 "Lou and Haz were  _scared_  of you the other day! Waliyha was  _scared_  of you the day that her and I broke up. I bet your mother and father have even been scared for you and your sisters. Liam sure as hell has been scared of  _me_."

 "Scared of  _you_?" Zayn laughs. "Liam? I don't think so."

 "He was, Zayn."

 "When?"

 "After Waliyha broke up with me."

 "Why?"

 "He told me I was going to be fine and I told him I wasn't. He then asked why and I told him to get out. He just kept going until I yelled at him. He looked terrified."

 "You must be fucking scary if you're enough to scare Liam."

 I roll my eyes. "He's afraid of  _spoons_ , Zayn."

 "True."

 I sigh and sit on Zayn's rumpled bed, sinking into the soft mattress. Zayn frowns at me and warily sits next to me. He looks at the wall in front of us and sighs. I look at him out of the corner of my eye and see him biting his lip, looking nervous.

 "Why are you nervous?" I ask quietly.

 "Because of what happened last time we were this close." Zayn mutters.

 "Which time?"

 "The kiss."

 "Oh. Are you going to kiss me again?"

 "Not unless you want me to."

 "That's fine with me..."

 "Is it? You kind of like being surprised."

 I smile. "How did you know that?"

 "Your reaction everytime someone surprises you."

 "Oh."


	16. Chapter 16

**NIALL**

 I feel weird hanging around with Zayn after everything that has happened between us and because of me. I just don't know what to do around him anymore. It's like we are total strangers, yet I just want to tell him everything.

 "What's got you so worried, babe?" Zayn asks.

  _There_ _he goes again with the 'babe' thing._

 "Niall?"

 I look at him. "Huh?"

 "You spaced out."

 "Oh. Sorry."

 "What are you so worried about?'

 "I feel like we're strangers, Zee. I don't like it."

 "You have that feeling too?"

 "I've had it for a while, and I fucking hate it."

 "Language."

 "Damn the 'language' shit, Zayn. I'm just sick and tired of everything."

 His eyes go wide. "Don't tell me..."

 "I do, Zee. I'm tired of this."

 "Don't you fucking dare!"

 I laugh. "Now who's the one swearing?"

 "Stop trying to change the subject!"

 "Stop trying to control me."

 "I'm not, babe. Trust me."

 "Stop calling me that!"

 "What? 'Babe'?"

 "Yes!"

 "Why?"

 "If we were together, I would understand. We're not. So just stop it!"

 His face falls. "Oh. Sorry."

 "Sorry. It wasn't meant to come out that way."

 "It sure seemed like it."

 "I'm so sorry, Zaynie."

 "Stop."

 "Zaynie..."

 "Fucking Hell, Niall! STOP IT!"

 "Why?!"

 "I don't need you whinging and whining to me! I already have two fucking sisters that do that! I don't need someone else! You're my age, Niall, and yet you act like you are five sometimes! Why do you do that-"

 I cut him off by kissing him and fisting his raven hair in my hands. Zayn flails for a second before kissing me back. Or mouths move in sync and I tug on his hair, elicting a moan from him. He grips my waist tightly in his hands and pulls me closer.

 He pulls away for air and moves his mouth along my jaw and down my throat, placing kisses where ever he can. He finds my sweet spot and I let out an involuntary moan, causing Zayn to smirk. He bites down on my sweet spot and I let out a louder moan.

 "Z-Zayn." I groan.

 "What do you want, Niall?" Zayn growls.

 "You."

 "How so?"

 "I just want you."

 "Not now, babe."

 I whimper.

 "Haz and Lou are going to be back soon."

 "Too late." Louis mumbles.

 I look towards the door and see two wide-eyed boys standing there. I feel my face go scarlet and I bury my face in Zayn's shirt. Zayn just chuckles and ruffles my hair. I glare at him and he does it again. I mess up his hair and dart behind Louis.

 "NIALL!" Zayn yells. "YOU'RE DEAD!"

 I whimper. "Zaynie..."

 "I gave you a warning, babe."

 "No."

 He grabs me around the waist and throws me onto the bed. I yell out 'no' over and over again but he ignores me. His hands find there way to my sides and my eyes go wide. He wouldn't. I take one look at him and I know that he will.

 "Zaynie!" I protest.

 Zayn digs his fingers into my sides and I squeal with laughter. He starts tickling me and I squirm under him, yelling at him to stop. Harry and Louis watch us with wide eyes and I start yelling at them to help me.

 "L-Louis!" I laugh. "H-Help!"

 Louis nods. "I'm coming!"

 Harry and Louis tackle Zayn to the side and I manage to get up, my sides aching and my face wet with tears of laughter. Zayn soon starts laughing and I see Harry and Louis tickling him. I join in and Zayn soon gives in, pleading for us to stop.

 "S-STOP!" Zayn cries, laughter echoing through his room. "P-PLEASE!"

 I snap my fingers and Louis and Harry stop tickling Zayn. They back away and Zayn sits up, wincing at the ache on his sides. He looks at me and we burst out laughing. Harry and Louis soon join in and we are all soon crying like idiots.

 "Oh the fun we have together." Louis and Harry chuckle.

 "Larry!" I mutter.

 "We need a name for you and Zee." Louis announces.

 "Umm..."

 "Nayn?"

 "Nope."

 "Zeil?"

 I punch him. "I hate you!"

 "Ouch! It was a joke, mate!"

 "How about 'Ziall'?" Harry asks.

 I nod. "Ziall Horlik and Larry Stylinson."

 "That'll work."

 "Wait until Liam, Desire, Nynke and Marcie hear about this!" Zayn laughs. "Waliyha, Matt and Josh too!"

 I look at him. "They'll know soon."

 "How?"

 "All the PDA."

 "Do you think so?"

 I shake my head. "I know so."

 Zayn kisses me softly and Louis lets out a little cheer. I look at Harry and he pulls Louis in for a kiss. Zayn and I whoop and Louis pulls away from Harry, blushing a bright scarlet. He raises his hands in surrender and Harry sneaks in another short kiss.

 I lean my head on Zayn's shoulder. "I love hanging out with you and our mates."

 Zayn kisses my head. "I love hanging out with you."

 "You're forgetting  _many_  people."

 "And our friends."

 "There it is!"

 "Ha ha ha."

 "Stop being so sarcastic, love."

 He raises his eyebrow. "'Love'?"

 "You call me 'babe' and 'Nialler'."

 "What's that got to do with anything?"

 "I get to call you 'love' and 'Zaynie'."

 "Fine."

 "YAY!"


	17. Chapter 17

**NIALL**

 Telling Waliyha about me and her  _brother_  is going to be very interesting. It's not like she didn't know that Zayn and I were eventually going to get together; it's just weird because she is my  _ex-girlfriend_  and Zayn's  _sister_.

 "Stop worrying." Zayn soothes.

 "I can't!" I groan.

 "Why not?"

 "I'm fucking paranoid for some reason!"

 "Wow. I can't help with that."

 "I know what can." I mutter.

 "Don't you fucking dare!"

 "Says the one who does too."

 "I do  _not_  want to kill myself!"

 I chuckle darkly. "We all do. Trust me."

 "What makes you say that?"

 "Don't worry."

 I get up off Zayn's bed and fist my almost brown hair. Zayn watches me with worry and I just want to hit something right now. Almost instinctively, I turn and punch the wall. Zayn groans and pulls me away from the wall before I do more damage to the innocent wall.

 "Calm down, babe." Zayn murmurs.

 "I can't, Zee." I whimper. "Why can't I?"

 "You aren't trying."

 "The fuck I'm not!"

 "Niall!"

 I pull away from Zayn and almost run out of his room. I go down the stairs quickly and reach the front door to see Harry and Louis cuddling in the lounge room, laughing quietly and just talking. They are so happy and it makes me sad that they get to have what I will never have.

 I walk out the front door and close it quietly behind me. I look out at the empty street and sigh, wondering what the fuck I am doing. I stuff my hands in my pockets and start walking, no particular destination in mind.

  **__~__~__~__~__~__**

**LOUIS (HOURS LATER)**

 Harry, Zayn, Liam, Waliyha, Matt, Josh, Desire, Marcie, Nynke and I have been looking for Niall for hours and have found no sign of him. Well...not that we know of. We split up in groups to find him and, so far, we've had no luck.

 Desire and Liam; Waliyha, Matt and Josh; Zayn, Marcie and Nynke; Harry and me. None of us have seen him since he left the house, or before that. He vanished without us noticing and, believe me, that is hard to do.

 Harry suddenly sprints away from me and I look after him with shock. He falls down to the ground and I run over to him. I stop dead when I see Niall passed out on the ground in front of him. I crouch down next to him and touch his skin.

 "He's ice cold." I gasp.

 "Who isn't?" Harry asks. "It's fucking cold."

 I shrug off my jacket and put it on Niall, leaving me in just my t-shirt for warmth. I pick him up bridal style and he cuddles up to me instantly, trying to get warm. Harry slips his beanie on Niall's head and covers his ears.

 "Good thinking, love." I say.

 "Yeah." Harry whispers. "Let's get him back to Zayn's."

 "We're not going to make it before the storm hits."

 "Whose place is closer?"

 "Mine. It's only a few blocks away and nobody is home."

 "Lets go then."

 I get a good hold on Niall before starting to walk to my house, Harry following close behind. We walk a few blocks before my house comes into view and it starts to rain. I curse and walk faster, trying to reach my house before it starts raining harder.

 I toss my keys to Harry and he unlocks my front door. We all get inside and Harry closes the door while I head up to my room. I lay Niall on the bed and get him comfortable. I take my jacket and Harry's beanie off him.

 I pull my wet t-shirt over my head and throw it in the basket. I get a dry shirt out of my cupboard and pull it on. I then try to find some clothes that will fit Niall and Harry for them to change into. It then hits me that we'll have to change Niall's clothes for him.

 "HARREH!" I shout. "GET UP HERE!"

 "COMING, BOO!" Harry yells.

 "Quickly!"

 He runs into my room. "What's wrong, Boo?"

 "We need to change Niall's clothes so he doesn't get sick."

 "Really?"

 "It's no worse than showering together."

 "True."

 I slip Niall's shirt over his head and dry his wet torso with a towel before pulling one of white shirts over his head. Harry slowly pulls his pants down and drys his legs before tugging on a pair of jeans that he left here. I take of Niall's shoes and socks, drying his feet before putting a pair of fluffy socks on his feet.

 Harry dries Niall's hair and I force a thick jumper over Niall's head. Harry turns the heater on and my bedroom starts to heat up. I change out of my wet pants and throw thm into the basket before laying down next to Niall on my bed. Harry changes his wet clothes and lays down on the other side of Niall.

**__~__~__~__~__~__**

 I wake up to someone banging on my front door and Harry yelling for them to go away. I groan and roll out of my bed, stumbling down the stairs. I fling open the door and stop dead when I see who it is. My mouth pops open and I gasp.

 "What are you guys doing here?!" I squeak.


	18. Chapter 18

_Recap_

_I wake up to someone banging on my front door and Harry yelling for them to go away. I groan and roll out of my bed, stumbling down the stairs. I fling open the door and stop dead when I see who it is. My mouth pops open and I gasp._

_"What are you guys doing here?!" I squeak._

**~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_**

**LOUIS**

 "We came to visit, Tomlinson." Michael says.

 "During winter?" I ask. "Seriously?"

 "It's Summer!" Calum protests.

Michael slaps him over the head. "We're on the other side of the world you idiot!"

 "Ouch!"

 Luke rolls his eyes. "They've been like this since we got off the plane."

 "I figured." I say. "Come on in, guys."

 I open the door wider and they all but run inside. I close the door quickly to stop the rain from coming in and lock it. I walk into the lounge room and see all four of them lounging on one of my couches. I clear my throat and they look at me.

 "Really?" I ask. "You're ruining the couch."

 Luke jumps up. "I don't have anything wet on."

 "That's good."

 "Neither does Ash or Mike."

 "Calum!" we all groan.

 Calum goes red. "Sorry."

 "Get off the couch!"

 He gets up and stands there awkwardly.

 "Jesus Christ!' Michael groans.

 Michael drags Calum back to the entry hallway and the rest of us share a look before bursting out in laughter. Harry stumbles down the stairs and stops when he sees all of us standing in the lounge room. Ashton instantly pulls him into a hug and Harry just stands there, still half asleep.

 "What's going on?" Harry mumbles.

 "We're here!" Ashton exclaims.

 "Hey, Ash. What's with the noise?"

 "Sorry, love." I say. "We'll be quieter."

 "Just go check on Ni."

 "Weren't you just up there?"

 "He wants you."

 "Okay."

 I hurry up the stairs and into my room. I see Niall curled up in a ball on my bed and I smile softly at him. I sit on the bed and place my hand on his shoulder. He looks at me and I can see the tears in his eyes.

 "What's wrong, love?" I ask.

 "Why did I do it?" Niall mumbles.

 "Leave Zayn's?"

 He flinches slightly.

 "I don't know. Nobody does."

 "I didn't feel like myself yesterday."

 "What did you do?"

 "I told Zayn something I shouldn't have."

 "What did you tell him?"

 "I didn't say it out loud."

 "Niall."

 "I said I knew what could help."

 "You're going to need to tell me everything."

**~FLASHBACK~**

_**NIALL** _

_Telling Waliyha about me and her brother is going to be very interesting. It's not like she didn't know that Zayn and I were eventually going to get together; it's just weird because she is my_ ex-girlfriend _and Zayn's_ sister _._

_"Stop worrying." Zayn soothes._

_"I can't!" I groan._

_"Why not?"_

_"I'm fucking paranoid for some reason!"_

_"Wow. I can't help with that."_

_"I know what can." I mutter._

_"Don't you fucking dare!"_

_"Says the one who does too."_

_"I do not want to kill myself!"_

_I chuckle darkly. "We all do. Trust me."_

_"What makes you say that?"_

_"Don't worry."_

_I get up off Zayn's bed and fist my almost brown hair. Zayn watches me with worry and I just want to hit something right now. Almost instinctively, I turn and punch the wall. Zayn groans and pulls me away from the wall before I do more damage to the innocent wall._

_"Calm down, babe." Zayn murmurs._

_"I can't, Zee." I whimper. "Why can't I?"_

_"You aren't trying."_

_"The fuck I'm not!"_

_"Niall!"_

_I pull away from Zayn and almost run out of his room. I go down the stairs quickly and reach the front door to see Harry and Louis cuddling in the lounge room, laughing quietly and just talking. They are so happy and it makes me sad that they get to have what I will never have._

_I walk out the front door and close it quietly behind me. I look out at the empty street and sigh, wondering what the fuck I am doing. I stuff my hands in my pockets and start walking, no particular destination in mind._

**~FLASHBACK OVER~**

**LOUIS**

 "That's just..." I trail off. "WOW."

 "I know." Niall mumbles. "I don't know why I said it."

 "I get why you said it, but still..."

 "Still what?"

 "That was kind of harsh."

 "I know, Lou. I know."

 "I don't know how to help you this time."

 "Maybe the lads will."

 "Who are you talking about?"

 "The Aussies downstairs."

 "You know them?"

 "I was an exchange in tenth grade. I went to Australia and stayed at Ashton's."

 "You two would get along."

 Niall grins. "We do. I also know his secret."

 "That he likes Luke?"

 "Yeah. Is it that obvious?"

 "Kinda."

  **__~__~__~__~__~__**

**NIALL**

 Now that I know Louis knows why I left Zayn's, I am in a better mood. I can hear Louis talking to Zayn on his phone and Zayn all but yelling at him in response. I chuckle and hurry down the stairs to find four of my best mates. I open my arms and Ashton and Luke barrel straight into me, hugging me tightly.

 "I MISSED YOU NIALLER!" Ash yells.

 "We all did." Luke adds.

 "What the Hell?!" Mike yells.

 I look up. "Hey, Mikey."

 "NIALLER!"

 He tackles all of us in a hug and we all laugh. Cal comes in and sees us all on the floor. He then sees me and jumps on top of us, causing Ash to knee me in the gut and Luke to accidentally grab his balls. Our groans/moans fill the room and Louis and Harry run in.

 "What the fuck, lads?" Harry yells. "Ashton!"

 "Lukey grabbed me!" Ash groans.

 Luke goes red. "Sorry, Ash."

 "It's alright, Lukey. Just hurt a bit."

 "I thought you liked it." Cal hisses.

 I wack him over the head as best I can. "Shut the fuck up and get off me."

 Ash and Luke get up, apologising, and Mike and Cal fall backwards, Cal elbowing Mike in the balls. Mike's yelp fills the room and we all go dead silent. He glares at Cal and Cal runs for his life with Mike chasing after him.

 "That's going to go down well." Ash muses.

 "Of course it is." Luke says, slinging his arm around Ash. "They're practically brothers."

 "Brothers in all but name."

 "Yep."

 "That's they way most things start." Harry says.

 "We did." Louis adds.

 "And we're still here."

 "Still together." Harry and Louis say together.


	19. Chapter 19

**NIALL**

 At least Harry and Louis are understanding why I did what I did because Zayn and Liam absolutely do  _not_  understand why I did what I did; then again, neither do I. I am really hoping that Zayn and Liam can, somehow, come to understand why I did it.

 I'm also happy that my mates have come to visit from Australia because, honestly, I haven't seen or heard from them in a few years. It is going to be great to be around those idiots again. I hope that I can get Ash to confess his feelings too.

 It turns out that Ash, Luke, Mike and Cal are here on foreign exchange for a year. Mike is staying at Liam's, Cal is staying at Louis', Luke is staying at Harry's and Ash is staying with Zayn and me. I can tell that this is going to be a fun year.

 "NO!" Zayn yells. "NIALL!"

 "Fucking Hell!" I groan. "Why me?"

 "Go wake him up, Nialler." Ash yawns. "You know he won't do it by himself."

 "Yeah."

 I get out of my warm bed and shuffle along the ice cold hallway from my room to Zayn's room. I push open his door and stop dead at the sight in front of me. Zayn is thrashing on his bed and there is blood staining his sheets.

 Zayn yells again and I jerk out of my trance. I run over to him and climb onto the bed, pulling him into a hug. He fights me for a few minutes before breaking down into sobs and holding me tightly. I calm him down as best I can, and he calms instantly at my touch.

 "You're alright, Zee." I whisper.

 "No." Zayn whimpers. "No."

 "Wake up, baby."

 He whimpers and shudders.

 "Please, baby. You're scaring me."

 His eyes flutter open.

 "Hey, baby."

 "Niall?"

 "I'm here."

 "What happened?"

 I look away and Zayn goes still in my arms, realising what happened. He burries his face into my chest and sobs quietly. I tighten my hold on him and he winces slightly. I pull back and pull up his shirt, revealling a gash on his side.

 "What the fuck, Zayn?" I hiss.

 "I'm sorry." Zayn sniffles.

 "Why did you do this?"

 "You ran away and we couldn't find you. I thought-"

 "Oh, Zee." I pull him back to me. "I'd never do it without a good reason."

 "What about what you said yesterday?"

 "I wasn't myself and, honestly, I don't know why I said that."

 "None of us do."

 "Louis does. He didn't tell me."

 "I'll talk to him tomorrow."

 "You do that."

 "I'm tired, Nialler."

 "Sleep then, baby."

 I get up off the bed and pull the blankets back over Zayn. He smiles and snuggles down into the blankets. His eyes close slowly and I smile, quietly walking away. I hear a whimper and I look back at Zayn to find him looking at me.

 "Niall." Zayn says.

 "Yeah?" I ask.

 "Stay with me?"

 "Of course."

 I climb into Zayn's bed next to him and he immediately cuddles up to me; his head on my chest and legs wrapped with mine. I rest my head on top of his and sigh, making his messy hair fall into his face. He chuckles and pushes the hair away.

 "Always." I add. "I'll never leave you."

**__~__~__~__~__~__**

**ZAYN**

 "NIALL!" Desire yells. "Get your lazy ass up!"

 Niall groans. "Get rid of her."

 I laugh. "Up and at 'em, babe."

 "Nooo. Too early!"

 "I agree, but she's going to keep going."

 "Don't care. Sleeping..."

 Niall's quiet snores fill my ears and I smile fondly down at him. My door flies open and I quickly close my eyes, cuddling back up to Niall. I hear Liam 'aww' and have to hold back the eye roll that would give me away.

 "They're so cute together." Desire whispers.

 "I can't bare to wake them." Liam adds.

 "AWW!" Louis yells.

 "Lou! The lovebirds are sleeping!" Harry admonishes.

 "They're cuddling!" Ash and Luke fangirl.

 "End of the world much?" Mike teases, Cal groaning in agreement.

 Waliyha sighs. "It's about time this shit happened."

 Nynke laughs. "I agree, Wali."

 "Me too, Nynke." Marcie says.

 "Go on, kids." Trisha says, shooing them away. "Let Ziall sleep."

 They all go away and I look at my mother in confusion.

 "Ziall is our ship name." Niall murmurs. "Just like Larry is Louis and Harry's."

 "There you have it." Trisha says. "I'll try to keep them away from here."

 "Thanks, Mum." I say.

 "No problem."


	20. Chapter 20

NIALL

The past week has been hard for us all, and, honestly, I'm starting to wish none of this ever happened. It has only been about a week since Waliyha and I broke up, and two weeks since I got here. I think that everything has been so hard that time seems to be going too fast to keep track of.

Lately Zayn has been avoiding me. I think it has something to do with all the nightmares he has been having about me. I've been talking to Trisha about his nightmares and she told me that Zayn had only had recurring nightmares after his boyfriend had killed himself.

That means that something bad is possibly going to happen to either me or one of my friends. I just hope that Zayn stops avoiding me and starts talking to me again, because I haven't been sleeping; I've been worried and my insomnia has gotten way worse.

I knock on Zayn's door.

"Go away." Zayn sniffles.

"Zayney?"

"Go away!"

"Talk to me."

"Why should I? Give me one good reason."

"I'm beyond worried. You've been avoiding me and it makes me feel like I've done something wrong. Like I'm just bad luck."

"You're not bad luck, babe."

"Then why are you avoiding me?!"

I break down into sobs and fall onto the ground. I hug my knees to my chest and bury my face. Zayn's door opens and a pair of arms encircle me. His musky smell calms me down and I bury my face in his shirt. He picks me up and carries me into his room, kicking the door shut.

Zayn sits on the floor and holds me tightly. He murmurs comforting words in my ear and my sobs aren't as loud and annoying as before. Zayn eventually gets my crying to subside and leaves me with sniffles that may or may not go away for a while.

"Why are you crying, babe?" Zayn asks.

"You've been avoiding me." I sniffle.

"I haven't really being awake, babe."

"You've been sleeping most of the time?"

"Yeah. Also trying to figure out what my dreams mean."

"What are they about?"

"Mostly you."

"What happens in them?"

"In every one we go out for a date and end up in some huge fight over practically nothing. Then it varies. A few times you disappear and we find your body in a river, or under a bridge. Sometimes I find you bleeding to death on my bed. Last night...I found you dead in the bath, the water red and an empty pill container on the ground."

I listen to Zayn describe everything in detail and my eyes widen as I remember those exact thing happening. I pull away from Zayn and hug my knees to my chest, staring blankly at the wall as I recall my mother finding me every single time.

"Niall?" Zayn asks. "What's wrong?"

That's when I realise I'm crying again.

"Talk to me."

"How do you know about those?"

"You mean...they really happened?"

I nod. "In the last two years."

"When you were with Waliyha."

"None of them concerned her. None of them were her fault in any way."

"I figured that, babe. You tried...three times?"

I shake my head. "Six. Three each year. Same date; same time."

"Why didn't you talk to someone?!"

"Who could I talk to? Waliyha and I couldn't talk because she had to take care of you after _he_ died; My parents were never home; Shrinks and counselors were not help either. You weren't in my life yet."

"M-Me?"

"None of you were. I had nobody to talk to; no friends, nothing."

"Niall... I never thought it was this bad..."

"Only my mother and my doctor knew that I tried. Nobody else. Until you."

"Why didn't you tell Larry?"

I shrug. "I didn't know how to tell them after I showed them my scars."

"You haven't shown me your scars."

"But you know what scars look like. Especially cuts."

"True. I thought Louis should have though."

"I've seen his; they aren't that bad. There's only a handful or two."

"True. Still..."

"Louis guessed before I told him. It's probably because I flinched when he touched my arm."

Zayn and I slowly drift off the topic of...you know...and somehow end up sitting on his bed, laughing at his past experiences. I tell him all of my good memories and leave the rest buried; not wanting to tell him about all the _other_ times I tried.

"How did you go through with it?" Zayn whispers.

"Go through with what?" I ask, slightly confused.

"You know what I'm talking about."

"Zayn..."

"Tell me."

"I'm not going to tell you because I don't want you to try any of them, or even think about trying any of them!"

"Just tell me this; was it easy?"

"Yes."

"You're lying."

"It was easy because I had, and still don't have, people that love me!"

"I LOVE YOU!"


	21. Chapter 21

 

I stare at Zayn with wide eyes and he slowly but surely realises what he just said. He covers his mouth in shock and I just sit there, frozen and staring at him, unable to move a muscle. Zayn gulps and watches my reaction carefully, but, as observant as he is, he can't make out any reaction what-so-ever.

"Y-You love me?" I stutter.

Zayn nods. "Yes."

"S-Since when?"

"I don't know. I liked you just last week and, now, I love you."

I shake my head. "It doesn't work like that."

"Will it make you feel better if I take it back?"

"No."

"What will make you feel better?"

"This."

I kiss Zayn and he instinctively kisses me back. I climb on top of Zayn and place my legs on either side of his thighs. His hands grip my waist tightly and hold me against him. I moan softly and tug on his hair, earning myself and moan/groan from him. He pulls back for air and meets my hooded gaze.

"What are you doing?" Zayn asks.

"What does it look like?" I reply.

"Why?"

I move my mouth to his ear (A/N: Gif at top). "I love you."

Zayn looks at me in shock for a moment before crashing his lips onto mine and kissing the life out of me. I kiss him back and fist the bottom of his shirt in my hands. He cups one side of my face in his hand and places his other hand on my waist. I pull away to catch my breath and Zayn's hand slips under my shirt.

"Zayn." I groan.

"I love it when you moan my name." Zayn whispers.

"I love it when you tease."

I tug his shirt over his head and trace the tattoos on his chest. I kiss the tattoo on the center of his chest and Zayn tightens his hold on my waist. I trail kisses up to his mouth and he catches the one I place on there, kissing me for dear life. It's like I was his drug and I was his; we can't get enough.

My shirt comes off over my head and our heated skin presses together, sending tingles through my whole body. Zayn pulls back and I whimper at the loss of contact. I meet his scared gaze and snap out of my trance. I place a hand on his shoulder and he takes a hold of it.

"What's wrong?" I ask quietly. "Are we going too fast?"

"No." Zayn sighs. "This just brings back unwanted memories."

"Oh, Zayn."

"I feel so fucking conflicted."

"Why? Is it because you still have feelings for him?"

"Yeah..."

I get off of Zayn and walk out of the room, ignoring his yelling for me to come back. I walk into my room and slam the door, locking it and the bathroom door so Zayn couldn't get in. I fall onto my bed and bury my face into my pillow, sobbing loudly.

"Why is it always me?" I wail. "No matter...what...I..."

I break off into louder sobs and I faintly hear someone banging on my door. I yell at them to go away and Ash yells for me to 'let him the fuck in'. I reluctantly open the door and let Ash in. As soon as I do that, I fall back onto my bed and bury my face again.

Ash locks the door and hurries over to me. He pulls me into a hug and some bangs on the door. By the sound of the cursing, it is Mike, Cal, luke and Larry. Ash lets them in and Louis lock my door before pulling me out of Ash's arms into his and Harry's.

"What happened to our Nialler?" Louis asks Ash.

Ash shrugs. "I heard him crying and came straight here. He almost didn't let me in."

"Talk to us, Ni."

I shake my head.

"Harry and me at least?"

I sigh. "I know you'll just do it anyway."

"Yeah. Lads, Haz and I are going to talk to him."

"Tell us what Nialler says!" Mike demands as Harry shoves him and his friends out the door, locking it behind them.

"Talk to me." Louis murmurs. "I can't tell how bad this is."

"Pretty bad if Zayn is crying." Harry says. "I've never seen him cry this bad. Not since..."

"His boyfriend's funeral?" I hiss. "Probably."

Louis frowns. "What have you got against Josh?"

"Nothing personally. Just Zayn's remaining feelings."

"He still loves Josh?!" Harry gasps. "Fuck me dead. He lied to us!"

"Harry." Louis sighs.

"I know, Lou. I'm trying to stay calm."

"We need the whole story, Ni."

I go red. "Umm..."

Harry smirks. "Looky looky at this cookie."

"Shut up." Louis admonishes. "This is serious."

"Serious that Ni and Zee made out not long ago."

Louis looks at me in shock. "Way to go, Nialler."

I wack him. "Shush. That isn't really important."

"I know. What happened?"

"I guess it kinda is."

"Niall James Horan."

"Right. I was making out with Zayn and he just pulls back all of a sudden. I ask him what's wrong and he says he's conflicted. I say that it's because he still has feelings for him and he says yes. I just get up and leave after that."

"Oh, Ni." Harry breathes. "I wish I could take that away."

"We both do." Louis adds.

"I know." I say. "But, the thing is, you can't."

"What are you getting at?"

"Only the person with the memory can get rid of it."

"Niall!" Harry gasps. "Don't you dare!"

"Already tried that many times I've lost count."

"H-How?"

"Jumping off a bride, slitting my wrists, over dosing, that kinda shit. Nothing's worked yet."

"Stop trying." Louis sniffles. "Please. We need you here."

"Nobody does."

"We do!" Harry sobs.

Larry pull me into a giant hug and I feel fresh tears sting my eyes. I hug them back and allow them to sway me away from what I really wanted to do. Larry were the ones that have kept me from trying in these past two weeks and I'm shocked at that fact. You gotta love them though.


	22. Chapter 22

NIALL

Zayn has been trying to get me to talk to him for the past week and I, honestly, want to. Larry told me not to talk to Zayn until he apologizes or tells me that he has no more feelings for Josh; like the latter is ever going to come fucking true. I'm never gonna get him.

I know why Zayn isn't ever gonna get rid of his feelings for Josh because Larry and Liam have told me about him, and I've seen the photos of him and Zayn. They look so happy and they have the aura around them that they are deeply in love and nothing can change that fact.

Even though I promised, I know what I have to do...

__~__~__~__~__~__

ZAYN

I wish Niall had talked to me while he had the chance, because he may not have the chance again. After what he told me earlier, even though I'm certain he was lying, I'm pretty sure I know what he is going to do. Even though I never told him; if he goes, I go with him.

I heard Louis, Harry and Liam telling Niall about Josh, and showing him pictures of Josh and me that I should have burnt by now. Those pictures make me sick because of how happy and how in love we were back then. It felt like nothing could change those facts back then.

Even though I promised, I know what I have to do...

__~__~__~__~__~__

LUKE

Ash is sitting on the couch across from me and looking down at his phone, sneaking glances at me. I pretend not to notice and see the emotion he is sending to me through his occasional glances. The emotion makes my gut tighten and shivers to crawl up my arms.

Nynke is sitting on the third couch and is glaring, noticeably, at Ash every time he sends me a glance. She looks over at me and smiles slightly when she sees that I 'don't notice' the glances. She shifts closer to where I am sitting and I look up at her, narrowing my eyes.

Ash snickers as Nynke goes pale and moves away. I look over at Ash and he smirks at me, even more emotion in his eyes. I raise my eyebrow and he pokes his tongue out at me. Nynke snorts in derision and both Ash and I glare at her. She smirks and walks away, swinging her ass side to side.

Ash gags and Nynke glares at him, hurrying out the door. The door slams closed and we burst out into fits of laughter. Ash drops his phone on the floor and we laughter harder, unaware that his phone is still recording everything. I hold my gut and see tears running down Ash's face.

I don't know how, but Ash and I end up being very close. Seriously. He is laying on the floor next to me and our faces are super close, our breaths mixing. I meet his gaze and see heaps of emotion swimming in his brown eyes. He moves forward slightly and our lips are almost touching.

I close the small gap and kiss him. Ash responds by grabbing my waist and pulling me closer, kissing me hard. I fist his shirt in my hands and he rolls onto his back, pulling me on top of him. I lay between his legs and slide my hands under his shirt, causing Ash to moan softly.

I pull back for air and rest my forehead on Ash's. I open my eyes slowly and see Ash doing the same. I can see that there is a faint flush covering Ash's face and peck him once on the mouth, rolling off of him. Ash whines in protest and I stand up, stopping dead when I see Niall smirking in the doorway.

"Oh, shut up." I say.

"It's about time, Ash!" Niall teases. "How long has it been?"

Ash stands up. "Almost three years."

I look between them. "I'm confused."

Niall laughs. "Ash has liked you for a fucking long time and you never noticed!"

"That. I've noticed all the looks and jealousy."

Ash turns on me. "You-"

I smirk. "Yep."

"You're an ass."

"But you love me."

"Yeah. I don't know why though."

I pout. "Ouch, Ashy."

Ash hugs me. "You know I'm kidding, Lukey."

"I know."

Niall sighs. "I'm gonna leave you two to it."

Ash lets me go, turning around just in time to see the front door closed. I see all the colour disappear from his face and a terrified look cover his face. He starts toward the door and I grab his hand, stopping him dead. He looks at me and I see the paranoid look, the one he rarely has, in his eyes.

"What's wrong?" I ask, fearing the answer.

"Last time Niall said that..." Ash trails off.

"He's suicidal."

"He tried when he was in Sydney, Luke."

"Is that why you were in the hospital?"

"Yeah. When I said it was a family emergency."

I give him a wry smile. "It really was."

Ash nods. "He's like my older brother."

"Go get him, Ashy."

Ash tightens his hold on my hand and I get the message. I nod and we hurry out the front door, leaving it wide open in our hurry. Ash calls Larry and they direct us to the closest bridge. Ash sees it ahead of us and sprints ahead of me, leaving me to catch up.

I run over to Ash and see him staring over the edge of the bridge, tears running silently down his face. He tells Larry to keep an eye on Zayn, and then hangs up, throwing his phone onto the river bank with a sob. I pull him into a hug and hesitantly look over the edge of bridge.

Tears sting my eyes when I see a familiar blonde head just floating there. I eventually pull Ash down under the bridge and we pull Niall from the river, sobbing loudly. I feel for his pulse and gasp when I feel a dull pulse. I start doing CPR on him and water comes out of his mouth as he coughs.

"I hate you!" Ash sobs, hugging Niall tightly.

"Why did you do it again?" Niall rasps. "Let me go."

"Never."

"You're gonna have to."

"Luke."

I look up. "What?"

"Go get some water and salt. Quick!"

I sprint up the river bank and hurry up the stairs leading up to the bridge. I run to the nearest store and do as Ash asked. I pay for it and sprint back to Niall and Ash. I give Ash the water and salt, and he opens the bottle, pouring the salt into it and forcing Niall to swallow it.

Niall coughs and pushes Ash weakly away. He soon gags and starts throwing up. Ash rubs his back and hands me the bottled water and salt. Niall stops throwing up and he glares at Ash. Ash stares back at him impassively and helps him stand up, leaving everything on the ground as he walks Niall back to Zayn's. Ash's phone goes off and I answer it.

"Luke." I say.

"Where's Ashton?" Louis demands.

"Taking Niall back home."

"Is he alright?" Harry asks worriedly.

"Should I answer that over the phone?"

"YES!" Larry yells.

"He's a bit wet but alright."

"What do you-"

Louis gets cut off by Harry. "FUCK!"

"What?"

I grimace. "I'll let Harry explain."

I hang up on Larry and hurry after Ash and Niall. I find them not too far from the store I bought the water and salt from. We eventually make it back to Zayn's and see a terrified Larry. They run at Niall and he flinches as if they are going to hit him. Instead, they pull him into a tight hug and they all start crying.

Ash walks over to me. "There's that dealt with."

Then it hits me. "Zayn."

Everyone freezes. Suddenly, we all start running up the stairs to Zayn's room. Niall shoves the door open and runs over to Zayn. He hits the razor out of Zayn's hand and ends up getting a slice on his wrist instead of Zayn. Niall pulls Zayn to him and they both start sobbing at each other how sorry they are.

Liam hurries in with Desire, Nynke and Marcie, and they stop dead at the small puddle of blood starting to grow on the floor. Ash pulls off his shirt and wraps it tightly around Niall's wrist, effectively stopping the blood and giving me a great view of his torso.

His torso _covered in scars._  



	23. Chapter 23

ASHTON

Let's just say that Zayn spent much of yesterday yelling at Niall for being so stupid and going against his promise. Niall then yelled back about Zayn breaking _his_ promise of never cutting again and Zayn, surprisingly, gave in and they made out for like ages.

"Are they still up there?" Cal snorts. "Seriously."

"Just because you haven't found your person." Mike teases.

"Who said I haven't?"

Luke and I share a look.

Mike raises an eyebrow. "Yeah? Who is it?"

Cal goes red. "She doesn't really know me but we've been hanging out a bit."

"Is it Marcie or Nynke?" I ask.

"Nynke?"

Luke smirks. "Are you asking or telling us?"

"Both?"

"Go tell her!" I say, shoving into the lounge room with Marcie and Nynke. 

I look over at Mike and see him almost crying. Then it hits me; Mike likes Cal, and Cal doesn't know. I pull Mike into a hug and he sobs into my shirt, making Luke frown for a split second before shock blankets his face. He pulls Mike into a hug too and we both hold the sobbing Mike.

"Whoa!" Liam yelps. "Why is there a crying red head in the kitchen?"

I motion to the lounge room. "See for yourself."

Liam looks and makes a face. "Oh. I'm still kinda confused."

"Mike likes him, Cal doesn't like him back."

"I'm so sorry, Mike."

Mike smiles. "Thanks. I'll be 'right though."

Liam nods and hurries off, probably to see Desire. Mike pulls away from the hug and walks into the lounge room. Luke and I share a look when we hear him start talking to Cal. I think we can both tell that this isn't going to end well for anyone.

"What do you see in her?" Mike exclaims. "She is an utter bitch!"

"Maybe to you!" Cal defends. "Not to me!"

"She was an utter bitch to Luke and Ash the other day!"

"I don't see where this is going, Michael!"

"Really? Are you that thick?!"

"I don't know. Am I?"

"Obviously if you can't tell when somebody loves you!"

My jaw drops in shock and Luke mirrors my expression. We run into the lounge room to see Cal staring at a crying Mike in a mixture of shock and horror. Cal then, surprisingly, walks over to Mike and kisses him. Mike responds almost instantly and Luke and I quickly leave the room.

"That was..." Luke trails off.

"Unexpected." I finish.

"Yep."

"What happened?" Niall asks, out of breath. "I heard Mike and Cal yelling."

"Go see for yourself." Luke says.

Before I can warn him, Niall walks into the lounge room and his eyes almost bulge out of his head. He walks back over to us with a knowing smirk on his face. My eyes widen when I realize that Niall knew about Mike liking Cal, and probably Cal liking Mike.

"You _knew_ about this and you never told us?!" Luke demands.

"Yep." Niall says. "Wanted to see if you could figure it out like you figured out that Ash liked you all those years ago."

"Niall, I figured it out two years ago. I just didn't know what to do."

I snort. "Tell me would have been the best option. Would've saved me a hell of a lot of mood swings and shit."

"Like your cutting?"

__~__~__~__~__~__

LUKE

As soon as that came out, I wanted to take it back. Both Ash and Niall go pale at my words and a noise sounds at the top of the stairs. _Zayn_. Ash tugs his shirt down and Niall just sighs, looking away. Zayn walks down, standing next to Niall and watching Ash and me worriedly.

"Why didn't you just tell me, Ash?" I sigh.

"I didn't know how to." Ash mumbles.

"But you told Niall?"

"No. He literally walked up to me and said-"

"'I know you cut, Ashton.'" Niall murmurs. "I remember."

I shrug. "Fair enough."

"How bad is it?" Zayn asks.

Ash looks at him. "My cutting? It used to be very bad."

"How bad?"

"Zayn!" Niall hisses.

Ash smiles. "It's alright, Ni."

"Okay..."

"I ended up in hospital a few times, but my family never found out. They're never going to either."

"Show me, Ashy." I say.

Ash pulls his shirt over his head and I see lots of silvery scars on his tanned torso. I see a few words and I feel tears sting my eyes. I can't force myself to look away as I trace a few of the words. Ash trembles under my touch and grabs my wrist when my hand gets close to his thigh.

"What's wrong?" I ask.

"Don't touch my leg." Ash whispers.

Niall touches Ash's arm. "Show him, Ash. He deserves to know."

"I-I can't."

"You showed me didn't you?"

He nods slowly.

"You can show Luke then."

"Can we, like, not do this here?"

Niall nods and picks up Ash's shirt. Zayn leads us up to his bathroom and locks both doors. Ash shimmies out of his jeans and my eyes immediately go to his left thigh. I decipher the letters and my eyes widen. I look up at Ash and pull him into a hug.

"It's alright, Lukey." Ash says. "I'm fine now."

I sniffle. "But..."

"I know what it says, but that was ages ago."

"Just...don't do this anymore..."

"I swear. I haven't for a few months."

"You won't when I'm not around anymore?" Niall asks worriedly.

"What does that mean?" I ask fearfully.

"We're going back to Australia in a few months, Luke." Ash reminds me.

"Oh. Right. I was thinking of something else."

Zayn looks away. "Please don't remind me."

I grimace. "Sorry."

"How about we all shut up?" Niall jokes. "That'll be hard for Ash."

Ash laughs. "You too, Blondie."


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey curlies!  
> After this chapter I am going to put this book on hold. I won't write any more of this story until I have dealt with all the shit I am going through right now.  
> ~Cat ;)

NIALL  
Now that Ash has shown Luke everything, they are perfectly fine. Mike and Cal on the other hand are dreadful. They've been making out any fucking chance they got, and it has been annoying everyone in this house. They are still in their first stage, so it is understandable...kinda.  
I mean, Zayn and I haven't done much like that. We've made out like twice, and kissed a few times. That's it. True, we haven't had much time to do anything, but that hardly matters. If he really loves me, like he says he does, he would drop everything else and spend time with me.  
I know how selfish that sounds. I just need to spend time with my boyfriend. Ever since we made it official, Zayn has been even more distant than usual. I think it's because he's still worried that he caused me to try again. It isn't his fault at all. It was mine; every single time.  
"Ni?" Ash asks. "You alright?"  
I scoff. "Do I look alright to you, Ash?"  
"Nope. I was just asking, mate."  
"I know. I shouldn't have been rude."  
"Hey, it's fine."  
"No it's not!"  
Ash pulls me into a hug. "Everything'll work out."  
"It won't. Nothing ever will."  
"Hey. You got Zayn didn't you?"  
I shrug. "I guess."  
Ash pulls back. "What is that meant to mean?"  
"Nothing."  
"Niall."  
"It's nothing, Ashton!"  
I yank myself out of Ash's hold and sprint up the stairs. I slam my door shut and go into the bathroom, locking both doors. I fill the tub up and slide into the calming water, knowing what I have to do. I swore not to, and now I'm going to do it.  
__~__~__~__~__~__  
ASHTON  
"Niall!" I yell. "Get your ass out of there!"  
"Ashton?" Zayn mumble sleepily. "What's going on?"  
"Niall fucking locked himself in his room!"  
"He's in the bathroom."  
"Was there running water?"  
"Fuck!"  
"Zayn?"  
"Fuckfuckfuckfuck. Fuck!"  
"Settle down!"  
Zayn sprints back into his room and pounds on the bathroom door, yelling at Niall. There is a slosh and Zayn starts hitting the door harder. I pull him back from the door and kick it, hard. The door shudders and I keep kicking until there is a hole in the door.  
I manage to unlock the door and get inside with minimal damage. Zayn shoves me out of the way and runs over to the bathtub. He falls down next to the tub and starts sobbing. I slowly walk over to Zayn and stop dead when I see Niall's pale, prone form under the water.  
"LUKE!" I yell. "MIKE! CAL! LARRY!"  
"ASH?!" Luke calls. "Where are you?!"  
"Zayn's bathroom!"  
"FUCK!" Larry yell. "NIALL!"  
"Hurry!" Zayn yells.  
"Zayn?" Waliyha mumbles. "What's going on?"  
"Go, Wali. Now."  
"Zayn-"  
Zayn looks at her. "GO!"  
Waliyha turns and runs out of the bathroom. A door slams and I guess that she ran into her room and slammed the door. Zayn reaches into the tub and grabs Niall's arm. I grab one of Niall's legs and together we manage to pull him out of the tub with minimal water on the tiled floor.   
Everyone runs into the bathroom and I see Cal on the phone. He pales at the sight of Niall and continues talking into the phone. It's then I realise that he is calling for an ambulance. Mike is trying not to cry, but is failing miserably. So are Larry and Luke.  
"The ambulance is on the way." Cal says quietly.  
"What did they say to do?" Zayn mumbles.  
"Try to get the water out of his lungs. That's all we can do."  
"CPR?"  
"How else, Zayn?"  
Zayn starts doing CPR on Niall and I watch him. I feel like I am a million miles away and like this is just a really bad nightmare. Most of all, I just feel numb. Like, really numb. I feel like cutting again. I don't want to go back to relying on cutting to keep me feeling alive.  
__~__~__~__~__~__  
MICHAEL  
"Ash?" Luke asks. "Talk to me."  
"He's in shock, Luke." Cal murmurs. "Just leave him."  
"You're gonna hate me for saying this." I mutter.  
"Saying what?"  
"That we need Niall right now."  
Ash looks over at me, dead flatness covering his face. "He's gone, Mike."  
Luke pales. "No. He's gonna make it."  
"Look at him, Luke. He's dead."  
Cal looks over at Niall and his eyes widen in shock. I follow his gaze and see Niall's chest rising and falling feebly. I nudge Luke and he looks at me before looking over at Niall. He gasps and Ash looks over at Niall, shock covering his face. I walk over to Niall and kneel next to him.  
"No..." Niall breathes. "How..."  
"Niall?" Ash mumbles. "How...?"  
"I hate you, Ashton."  
"You're...alive..?"  
"No...fucking shit. I don't know how..."  
"These two idiots saved your life." Cal teases weakly.  
Niall groans. "I...hate you...all..."  
"We love you too."  
"Ha..ha..ha..."


End file.
